Samurai Yujiro, Japan Editor in Chief/ Natural Born Bellend

Disgusting Bellends.

While the Bat Virus pandemic is destabilizing and threatening our daily lives, what concerns me lately is how so many vulgar men pee and never wash hands.

Today it happened once again.

I entered a fairly clean public toilet in Tokyo, but the guy in his 20’s rushed that rushed in simultaneously was dirty. The guy urinated and left while I was still answering the call of nature, but he (let’s call him ‘urine’) disappeared from the scene “without washing his hands that touched his repugnant phallus”.

Boys and girls, this Urine guy is unforgivable.

If the Bat virus is hazardous, so is he. Washing hands after defecation and urination is the fabric of a civilized human being. If you poo, E.coli disperses. If you pee, that’s not clean either. And my point here is, that ironically in Japan where the roads and loos and taxis are proudly known for its cleanness, I have spotted so many Japanese men that leaves the toilets dirty handed. It is indeed a shameful ‘fact’ to say the least, for it may harm the integrity and reputation of my beloved nation in an unexpected way.

And what’s even more despicable, these Urine guys touch their mobile devices with their unsanitary hands! You know what this means.

Women’s bathroom? I do not know. But my wishful thinking whispers in my crippled ears, that “Nippon women are discreet, polite and clean“.


Whistleblower I am today, to warn you not to shake hands with ignoramus and disgusting Nippon men for your own safety. If you happen to be the ‘Urine’, please repent for your reprehensible sins and act accordingly from now on!

Needless to say, the Tokyo men are just a tip of an iceberg.

I have personally seen quite a few cases overseas where ‘clean looking men in Giorgio Armani suits’ just don’t wash their hands after their morning leak! And it is ubiquitous to see those men in suits shaking hands with whoever they meet. So if Mr.Arnold Schwarzenegger calls on the world to ‘wash you hands’, the Bellend emphatically suggests to all men around the world;

Wash your disgusting hands full of germs after you drop the kids off the pool!!!!

Oops, did that ‘kids’ mean excretion? Not pee? British reader, please lecture me!

Well anyhow, if you defecate and never wash hands with running water, then you are an inexcusable criminal. Turn yourself in, now!

Oh, but wait a minute. The Bellend may have discovered an irrefutable truth.

No wonder why the Japanese men bow so much.