Yujiro Samurai Taniyama, Japan Broadcasting . net Corporation passionate sports writer
Hang on.
Japan F.C is probably and actually going to win this FIFA Women’s World Cup 2023. My unremarkable yet infallible instinct – that had boasted Nadeshico’s conquest before the tournament; may prove correct once again.
Soccer heavyweight Rapinoe Megan’s Team America succumbed to lackluster Team Scandinavia yesterday in ‘Melby’. The defending champions were so dominant that the latter couldn’t unleash a proper shoot scare until the 85th minute. Nevertheless, USA-Sweden ended in a phallos perspiring 0-0 draw after breathtaking 120 minutes. The nonchalant goddess of penalty shootout had chosen to reward the monstrous Scandinavian ladies, perhaps because they all knew how to sing their national anthem.
Small but fearless Japan
As some decent minded readers may already know, the Nadeshico girls’ performance in the group stage was utterly sublime.
5-0 against Zambia.
2-0 against Costa Rica.
4-0 against Barcelona. (synonym for Spain, as its major players are all from the renowned F.C in Catalonia)
A perfect record. Too good to be true.
Then in the knockout stage, ‘Lilliput Japan’ (the players are irrefutably small, 155cm average I reckon) karate-chopped Norway 3-1 as smooth as a tofu. The Lilliputs seem to be functioning brilliantly as a team – in both the combination and formation. Licking the ‘Invincible Armada’ 4-0 is one concrete proof. The former underdogs are apparently still silent as a lamb, but simultaneously now appear wonderfully fearless.
And next, the small Japanese girls face those tall Scandinavian ladies. Yes, Lilliput vs. Gargantuan. Mini vs. the monstrous. The biased author (100% impartiality is impossible in journalism as long as you’re mortal, let me tell you. Mrs.BBC, are you there?) is quite optimistic that Tokyo will cook Stockholm splendidly like Yakitori (chicken BBQ) this time; especially after witnessing conspicuous dormancy in the latter’s attacking capability against the USA. Moreover, it is more than reasonable to speculate that Team Gargantuan is dog tired after yesterday’s devastating war.
3-0, or 3-1. Lilliput.
Ooo, lastly, the cover photo of this B＋grade column is me, wearing a Noh mask of indescribable reticence. Noh-co (能子・のうこ）, as she is labeled has become a self described ‘unofficial mascot deity’ of Nadeshico Lilliput Japan. Armed with supernatural powers that generates manga-like fantasy, fish eating Noh-co shall frighten her meatmongering opponents to death with her fabulously spooky grin. And importantly, do remember readers, that when the Nipponese are beaming one ought to be extra careful.
Japan, is a land of unobtrusive beauty after all.
Bow.
