Samurai Yujiro Taniyama, Japan 【JB】Tokyo correspondent


Smear campaign to cancel the world’s largest sporting fest is absolutely ununderstandble.

A potato digger as I am, to put the show on the road is more than necessary, I reckon, now with just 50 days to go. I will be there with bells on alright, after having waited quite a long time for the big time. True, self-righteous pundits and politically motivated activists ‘in Japan’ (strikingly) collectively claim that the ‘Olympic of Doom’ should be called off, for roughly only 5% of the Nippon population have been vaccinated.

Indeed, that is a fact.

Nevertheless, such a cowardly attitude is not only passive but also unproductive. And in this short column, I would emphatically like to argue why I believe so.



IOC Bach and Coates’ damnable impertinence

Unfortunately, I don’t work for the renowned International Olympic Committee. That said, before I commence the reader ought to bear in mind that the Sheepdog Samurai is not a panting puppy of the moneymongering IOC, or if I am permitted the usage of rather an expression of candid obscenity, a ‘cocksucker’ of the flawed Tokyo authorities.

Australian chief of the event, John Coats famously asserted a few days ago; “Tokyo2020 will go on even under the state of emergency”. What an arrogance. The decrepit Aussie decision maker’s uppish attitude is truly despicable, for he downplays the safety of the Japanese people. In a world of proper democracy, the final call should be up to the citizens of the hosting nation. So mate, just go home to Ballarat and wolf down some toasts with Vegemite.

Meanwhile, IOC president Bach doesn’t know how to play the piano.

His German ancestor Johann Sebastian Bach must be terribly sad. Therefore, in order to honor the family name of the prominent pianist, I shall hereby refer to IOC’s Thomas Bach merely as ‘Tank Engine’. Japan’s leading weekly magazine Bunshun reported on 27th of May that the doddering beer belly German kingpin has shamelessly boasted the following;

  1. Let me see the Emperor.
  2. Japan should sacrifice for the Olympics.
  3. The event will go on even if Japan PM demands cancellation.

Incredible. The disingenuous Tank Engine’s self-serving demands were unsurprisingly met with a fervent backlash among the usually reticent Nippon people. ‘Weekly Bunshun’ is a widely circulated and a historically credited media, so it is my humble understanding that the above remarks have been well substantiated. No hoax, no fake news here. So the German Tank Engine, who allegedly travels on first class and reserves $5,000/per night hotel suite every time he visits Tokyo or elsewhere does smell like an authentic cockalorum of the 21st century.

At any rate, it seems only natural to consider that not only Tank Engine but all IOC officials (including Mr. Vegemite) are in a state of ‘fat city’ – using fast buck from big sponsors to satisfy their personal lust and greed. I mean, the German cockalorum should never be given the prerogative to defy decisions made by the Japanese Prime Minister, to say the least. Who the hell does the dummkopf think he is?! A Deutsch Kaiser? A blankety-blank big daddy Mrs. Adolf Stalin?! Damnable!

The Olympics, as far as I am concerned has become nothing but an ostentatious and lucrative business for the organizers. Both Bach and Coates’ sole objective is presumably to secure astronomical amount of money just to benefit their morally corrupt empire. The ‘unequal treaty’  signed by the IOC and the host nation, it has also been argued in Tokyo recently, allegedly unilaterally stipulates that the former is exempt from any legal and financial responsibilities under any circumstances; including the pandemic. Should Tokyo2020 be cancelled (Nomura securities think-tank estimates that some staggering ¥1.8 trillion will be lost in that case), only the Nippon taxpayers including the Sheepdog Samurai are obliged to bear the burden! No kidding!

Absolutely fantabulous!



3 ideas to make the ‘Olympic of Doom’ a success


Unequal treaty no more.

Uppish IOC no more.

Back to the smaller, basic Olympics. Athletes first.

So lastly, I would like to conclude my non law-binding argument by assessing three bright ideas to turn the haunted event into that of hope.

The Olympics Committee in Tokyo announced on May 26th that a total of 78,000 people will be entering Nippon for the unforeseeable event, that is scheduled to begin on July 23. 59,000 for the Olympics, and 19,000 for Paralympics. And among them, there are 3,000 so called the ‘IOC family’ staffs, 2,000 ‘Paralympic family’ staffs as well as 14,800 Olympic staffs and 5,900 Paralympic staffs.

  1. Delete IOC family and Paralympic family from the list. The committee asserts that they are indispensable, but I believe otherwise. The label IOC ‘family’ already sounds like nepotism, cronyism and corruption. We’re talking about overhauling the whole moneymongering IOC empire here gents and laities. Use HONDA or SONY robots if need be. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Less travelers, less infection.
  2. The Japanese are irrefutably an unscrupled brown-nose, but are not stupid. Greater Tokyo (Kanagawa, Chiba, Saitama and Tokyo) recorded a total of 555 new cases yesterday (May 31). That’s a significant decline compared to that a week ago. The new Indian variant should by no means be underestimated, but still the Sheepdog Samurai estimates that our positive demeanor will contribute to make the situation even better by the end of the month. Roughly thirty impatient Aussie softball girls became the first to touch down in Nippon yesterday (inexplicably early for a preparation! But I like it ), and since not all daily virus-tests are 100% reliable, in order to protect the locals as well as the associates, I have a remarkable idea. Any athlete, coach, IOC staff, media associate and reporter that violate the protocol to stay at their designated areas during the event must be fined $100,000 unconditionally and deported immediately. If the sinister individual is insolvent or flat broke, the relevant state bears the responsibility to pay. Japan PM also has the authority to order the famous Harakiri to any voluptuous hairy rebels that rush to Izakaya in Roppongi after he or her performance. 120,000 condoms will not be distributed to the licentious athletes, like in Rio. (What a waste of money by the promiscuous IOC! Let copulation be done under the perpetrator’s own healthy responsibility)
  3. The majority of the people worldwide will enjoy the event on TV. Sadly, the foreign Olympic fans have already been banned entry by the Land of the Rising Isolation. Professional baseball and J-league soccer are currently hosting games under regulated number of audiences; and its yet unclear how the situation will unfold in July. Zero spectators, 10,000 robot-fans scenario should be considered by all means. The gutless and timorous Japanese that are opposing hosting the ‘Doomed Olympics’ shall not be permitted entry to the gorgeous, newly built Tokyo National Stadium; but instead why not be extradited to the supposedly doomed ‘re-educational center’ in Xinjiang?!

Let me once again reiterate; enough of jiggery-pokery!



Domo Arigato for reading, and for your infectious compassion.