‘Sorry Scotland, Sorry Ireland Tour’ begins! Japan will top Group A! | World Cup Rugby 2019

Samurai Yujiro Taniyama, War Correspondent – Japan Broadcasting.net

 

‘Otento-Summer-Ga-Mitter-Loo’ (お天道さまがみてる)

Well,  this is an old, popular Japanese proverb that irrefutably means ‘Gods are watching’ . And surely, he is. According to Shinto(神道), our indigenous way of life, there are some 8 million Gods in the Land of the Rising Sun. The legendary Anime director Miyazaki Hayao’s Academy Awards winning mind-blowing masterpiece, ‘Spirited Away’ depicts that concept beautifully in the film, so please take a look.

And surely, our Gods will be watching the ‘Rugby World Cup 2019 Japan’, which will kick off in just less than two weeks, on the September 20th. As a war correspondent, I am more than thrilled, because Rugby is definitely a war per se, but just that they don’t use the Russian AK47 machine-guns. But instead, the 200cm monstrous field players use the very best of their minds, muscles and tactics a human nature can offer.

 

‘Sorry Scotland, Sorry Ireland Tour’

Held just once every four years, this ‘global event’ (but only in the West, as well as the southern hemisphere. Asians aren’t bothered, but the Japanese) must be cherished and overjoyed to our maximum capability. So I’ve decided to fly to London, Edinburgh and Dublin and ‘declare Rugby wars’ on the founders and the frontrunners of the sport.

Nevertheless, England is Japan’s amicable friend. Since they are in Group C, while Tokyo is in Group A.

Therefore, my hypothetical enemy is the mighty Scots and the Irish – both in the same group as ours. They are indisputably stronger than the host team, and the 127 million Japanese have unanimously reached the conclusion that ‘we must lead our two biggest foes to the state of drunken stupor’ prior to the kick off.

So here comes I, the ‘chosen’ war correspondent, weak as hell with Sake, wine and beer, on a divine mission to invade the pubs and streets in the United Kingdom and Ireland. And I have decided to label this secret mission, “Sorry Scotland, Sorry Ireland Tour”. Dublin is a top ranked team, Edinburgh is 9th, and Tokyo comes after that in current world rankings. However, it goes without saying that they will outclass the host unless some kind of an inexplicable fluke, or a miracle happens.

‘Miracle of Brighton’, sort of. Nobody had expected that the venerable Samurais would prevail over one of the most outstanding teams on the planet, yes, the legend Nelson Mandela’s team Springboks 34-32.

But the Gods were watching. As it happened.

JPN 23 – Scotland 19.

JPN 50 – Ireland 18.

The above are my baseless, and wishful predictions when the three parties shall clash on September 28th and October 13th.

I must confess that my biggest liability is that the Scots and the Irish are allegedly super tough drinkers when it comes to alcohol. They can gulp vodka like a beer, faster than the bloody Russians maybe. On the contrary, the fake ‘war correspondent’ is tantamount to a British junior high school 8th grader whose been consuming beer since the age of 12.

And lastly, if by any chance you find a hallucinated oriental thug swimming facedown in the background alleys of Rugby or Galway near a local pub, I’m probably the one.

Please call the ambulance, please.

Oh, should you also visit Nippon to view the exhilarating matches, please do try the brilliant local beers. Not the piss-water to say the least, sir.

Good rugby, good life.

Arigato Gozaim-Ass.

 

$5 Sushi in Florida costs ¥100 in Nippon. Here’s why

Yujiro Samurai Taniyama, CEO, Japan Broadcasting . net Inc.

About a year ago, I was inexplicably contemplating on brevity of life, as the petals of Sakura trees in my neighborhood evaporated into thin air, day after day.

Without figuring out the answer to the “question”, and the enigma of the world we live in, that evening, I happened to dine at a ‘Corooo-Cooroo-Sushi’ (CCS)- or belt conveyor Sushi in the outskirts of Tokyo.

It was just before the groundbreaking ‘Trump-Kim Singapore summit’; I recall.

The CCS was pretty crowded, and while waiting in a queue, I inevitably spotted a blond male standing near by. He looked like a deportee from Venezuela. The nation is a pandemonium as we all know, thanks to chubby-bus-driver turned President.

“Gonna have to wait for another 30 minutes. Ready for some best Sushi’s in the world fella?! Welcome to the land of the rising fish”, I said to him, grinning.

The doughty looking guy, presumably in his late 20’s smiled back, relieved to hear some words he obviously understood. Hamacci, as I will call him here, turned out to be a U.S Navy serviceman. Just as a reminder for some readers, Hamacci (はまち)is the Japanese term for Young-Yellow-Tail. Mouthwatering good.

“Thank you for defending my little country”, I bowed.

続きを読む

Japan thrashes Iran 3-0 at FIFA/AFC Asian Cup 2019. Ready and set for the record-extending 5th title

Team JB Staff writers

【Al Ain, UAE】

Japan ‘s Osako Yuya scored twice, in the 56th minute, then again just 11 minutes later on a penalty kick, while Haraguchi Genki added the final blow in the 91st minute to win the “de-facto final match” of the tournament against Iran, at the AFC Asian Cup 2019.

Now, Samurai Blue’s manager Moriyasu Hajime needs just one more win to make history, to become the first Japanese to lead its national squad to winning the prestigious Asian cup. The past four titles Nippon won (1992, 2000, 2004, 2011) were all led by foreign managers, including Zico the legend.

続きを読む

史上最多! 146万人の外人就業者が、500万人になる日 | 谷山雄二朗

JB Editor in Chief, Yujiro Samurai Taniyama

Hello. I’m Yujiro.

1月25日の発表によると、国内で働く外人就業者数が「ギネスワールド・レコード」を更新したらしい。その数、じつに146,0463名。上位3か国は中国が、389,117人(26.6%), ヴェトナムが316,840人(21.7%)、フィリピンが164,006人(11.2%)。大、大、大歓迎である。

毎日、ほぼ1000人のペースで人口が減っている国、Japan.

その数字だけでも衝撃的だが、逆に外人就業者数はこの10年で3倍に増えたとのことだから、神様はバランスシートを上手に調整してくれてるのかもしれない。過去最多の146万人の外人さんがJapanで仕事をする反面、去年の段階で人口減は過去最多37万人だというから、今後は毎年「新宿区」が一つ消滅していくということだ。政府は、今後5年間で34万人の就労者を海外から募ると言っているけど、これから毎年40万人前後という空前絶後の時代にJapanが突入することを考えると、とてもじゃないけど政府の「毎年7万人ペース」では追いつかない。

続きを読む

5 reasons why Japan will win the AFC Asian Cup 2019 | Japan Broadcasting.net 【JB】

Yujiro Samurai Taniyama, Japan Broadcasting . net Editor in Chief

Sushi power has done it once again.

The fate of “FIFA-AFC Asian Cup 2019” now rests in the hands of Japan, Iran, Qatar and the hosts UAE. Defending champions Australia and Asian powerhouse South Korea were struck by an unfathomable tragedy last night, when they were ousted by lower-ranked foes.

Next, in the semi-finals, the Samurai Blue will fight Iran, while Qatar encounters the mighty United Arab Emirates. And for the benefit of the reader that is not a huge soccer fan, let me underscore that the Asian Cup is a crucial football event that is held every four years, to decide the No.1 in the biggest continent in the world – Asia.

続きを読む

Princess Maco’s “boyfriend” Mr. Komuro Kei, his mom and her ‘Sugar Daddy’

JB’s Editor in Chief, Yujiro Samurai Taniyama

Emperor Akihito will abdicate on April 30, 2019.

His son Prince Hironomiya will then become Nippon’s 126th Tenno, a Japanese term for “symbolic figurehead of the state”, or the Emperor.

What?! The famous Prince Charles?! Well as far as I am concerned, his hyper-exuberant mom is unlikely to abdicate anytime soon, so there’s absolutely no denying the fact that he will remain as a “Happy Prince” till the flawed Brexit deal is signed, to say the least.

But in this blog, I would like to sit back and contemplate on Mr. Komuro Kei, an alleged fraudster like Mr.Carlos Ghosn the famous. Foreign reader may never heard of Mr.Komuro, or KOK (lets make this his acronym here), but this 27 year old is purportedly Nippon’s Princess Maco’s college sweetheart. I do not possess confidential datas that he is a Christian, although the pair met while both were attending International Christian University in Kichijoji city, west of Tokyo, near Academy Award winning director Miyazaki Hayao’s “Studio Giblhi“.

続きを読む

メイウエザー戦。ヨロヨロ那須川は、憲法改正が必要な裸の自衛隊だった 【谷山雄二朗】

Editor in Chief Yujiro Taniyama

大晦日に行われた格闘技 Mayweather vs Nasukawa戦は、核保有国アメリカ合衆国 vs 9条ジャパーンの構図そのものであった。

茄子だが那須だが知らないが、日本人キックボクサーは揚げ茄子の如くわずか1分ちょっとでアメリカ人ボクサーにペロリと平らげられてしまった。

面白いのは、その恐るべき茶番ファイトが、国際社会におけるわが国の立ち位置そのものを映し出していた点である。キックボクサーなのに「キックしてはならない」とのルールからして、憲法9条の「陸海空軍を保持しない。交戦権を保持しない」という、言語明瞭意味不明な制約そのものであった。

続きを読む

2019 ごあいさつ 「ロシア人 プルシェンコと考えた、北方領土の解決法」 谷山雄二朗

Editor in Chief Yujiro Samurai Taniyama

猪突盲信。

これだけは気をつけよう、平成三十一年!

明けましておめでとうございます。みなさんにとって、2019年が好色ならぬ好運なる一年になりますよう、心よりお祈りもうしあげます。いや、もちろん前者でもまったく構いませんが。

お正月早々、元ロシア人のフィギュアスケーター、エフゲニー・プルシェンコ氏を TOKYOの某路上で「発見」した。と思いきや、彼のそっくりさんであった。話しかけると、モスクワから二週間の旅に来ているという。ひとり旅か。「京都は行ってきました」、というので「そうか、広島も?」と尋ねると、“プルシェンコ”は、申し訳なさそうに首を横に振った。

日本史上初、訪日客が3000万人を突破した2018年。

続きを読む

3rd in Amazon rankings! “Master of Japan” | Written by Yujiro Samurai Taniyama

By Editor-in-chief, Yujiro Samurai Taniyama

Another tedious day was about to begin this morning in Tokyo , once again.

Until one mighty friend called me, and delivered an unfathomable shocking news.

He said, “Rising Sin is now 3rd man! This must be a fake news!”

“Stop that petty nonsense you idiot”, I replied, still inside the comfy futon.

Then he sent me a link.

I couldn’t believe my slanty little eyes (from the westerner’s view). But there it was, fake as it may be, my little bombshell had won the prestigious bronze medal (for now, to say the least), at Amazon Olympics 2018.

Japan category, that is.

Fake news. Yes, it must be.

I rubbed my eyes a coupe of times, pinched my crotch, and there were tangible pain.

続きを読む

ゴーンがGONE! 【日産自動車を、東京裁判から考える】7名の役員は、みな辞職せよ!

Japan Broadcasting . net Corporation CEO 谷山雄二朗

悪代官キツネのような目つきをしたレバノン人の男。

カルロス・ゴーン氏を最初に見たときの印象だ。20年ちかくなるだろう。そしてついに、同氏がキツネならぬ狸であったことが判明しつつある。前の奥さんとの離婚訴訟の費用や、私的な経費を、NISSANのクルマの売り上げから払ったとの疑惑が報道されているが、それなりの理由があって逮捕されたのだろう。

また、「虚偽記載」があったとのことだが、いくら今の日産経営陣が破邪顕正を標榜し「内部告発」しようとも、ゴーン氏のここ数年の役員報酬額の虚偽記載を許してきたのは、どこの誰なのか。その点を考えれば、記者会見したトップの西川氏を含め役人たち全員がグルに思えてならない。腐ったリンゴのような企業体質がのこる悪徳カンパニーであることは、否定するにもしようがなかろう。内部告発には、内部の権力争いが絡んでいることが多々あるが、西川氏を含むすべて9名の役員が「悪代官」系だとおもってまちがいない。少なくとも、わたしはそう考える者である。

続きを読む