Kids show starting ‘The Glorious Fatty’
Kids show starting ‘The Glorious Fatty’
New kids show. For better understanding of the world we live in.
It seems as though he has done it once again.
The incumbent U.S President, for the first time in its post war history has officially announced that he will hold a dialogue with the North Korean despot. Given the fact that no sitting U.S President has ever met Pyongyang commander in chief in post WW2 history, yesterday’s announcement was indeed historic.
When the Korean War ended in 1953, it was not the Lee Syngman’s South Korean puppet regime but the “UN Allied powers” (de facto U.S military) that signed armistice with the North. As the Japanese have never signed a peace treaty with the Russians due to the prolonged territorial dispute in the “Northern Territories” adjacent to Hokkaido – Etorofu, Kunashiri, Habomai and Shikotan islands, the same goes with the Washington and Pyongyang.
“I want a peace treaty with you, Sir Donald” – Kim Jong un shall suggest in May.
Purportedly, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson and his comrades are skeptical of Kim Jong un “giving up it nuclear weapons” – and fiercely oppose Trump’s move to meet Kim “without preconditions”. Japan’s PM Shinzo Abe on the other hand, almost lost face when his “golf partner” suddenly announced to the press that he’ll meet the obese dictator – but was later revealed that Trump had called Abe right after he answered “Yes” to the South Korean counterpart visiting Washington.
As a Japanese national, I must say that it is a pure shame that while the Pyongyang nuke-warheads are locked onto Tokyo and Kyoto, we are virtually left out of the talks. Our overly subservient attitude towards Washington since our obsolete post war constitution was promulgated in 1947 undoubtedly is the primary factor why things are the way they are today.
Like the British former PM James Cameron was often mocked as the “Panting Puppy” of America, Tokyo unfortunately is nothing different.
Time for a change
Personally speaking, I condone the drastic move by Trump.
Though it is simply unthinkable that Kim will actually abandon his “Toy” (Nukes, of course), there still is about a 30% possibility that “something could change” – which I think is a positive thing. Change is always good, to my understanding.
The Tokyo-Pyongyang relationship had reached a point of ‘stalemate’ since Pyongyang tested its first “nuclear bomb” in 2006. Condolezza Rice and state department official Christopher Hill made a crucial mistake back in 2008, when they were overwhelmingly “Pro-North Korean” to lift the U.S sanctions imposed on Pyongyang under the Bush administration. (Without even consulting Tokyo)
But nothing changed.
Why!? Of course, North Korea is truly a master of repudiating “deals”.
And we all know that, don’t we!?
In 1994, Hillary’s husband was also duped. The Kim dynasty is truly a master of provocation, intimidation and deception. And the West was dumb enough to repeat the mistakes.
Then now comes Donald, the “Tough Negotiator”.
Will he be duped again!? Possibly. But one thing for certain is that Trump meeting Kim vindicates tough U.N sanctions strategy imposed on the North. That’s right, its working.
Though optimistic, I am not a prophet so whether or not a “striking a DEAL” will occur is yet unclear.
The “UNPREDICTABLES” (Trump and Kim) could call the whole thing off anytime. Yet based on the current vulnerable, unstable and combustible circumstances, let me suggest that should the “dialogue” take place, TOKYO would be the ideal host.
Here are 7 reasons why.
1. Tokyo is the “safest city” among the G7 nations. We all know that. You cant buy guns for $199 at Walmart here. And of course the U.S President’s security concern. By maintaining 2000 km distance from the Korean Peninsula, he shall be safe and sound, protected by the Japanese army and the 50,000 American troops (Including Mr. USS Ronald Regan in Yokosuka) stationed in Japan.
2. Geopolitically, Tokyo lies between the Asian continent and the North American. Beijing is eager to host the dialogue as the “rising global power” of course – but Kim fears being blown up on the railway track, just like his father was.
3. Fujiya Hotel in Hakone Onsen – about an hour car ride from Tokyo by Mt.Fuji is where the historic meeting should be held. JOHN LENNON used to visit this classic hotel established in 1878 following the renowned Meiji Restoration. The two leaders can send the message of “LOVE” and “IMAGINE” as they hop into the Onsen together fully naked. As the old Japanese saying “Hadacano Tsukiai” (Naked friendship, intimate as they take bath together) goes – the two fat guys in one boiling hot Rotenburo will dominate the headlines.
Kim can fly directly to Shizuoka Mt.Fuji Airport, then a car. That way his security will be guaranteed even further.
Trump on the other hand must use Tokyo Haneda Airport, and not Yokota as he had previously done. His entrance thorough a monstrous U.S base ( size equivalent to 157 Tokyo Domes!) will not only prove provocative to Kim, but a sitting U.S President entering Japan through the backdoor (defying the official, legal procedures) will only humiliate Tokyo as the ‘Colony of America’. (Remember, that any CIA spies or U.S government officials can enter and leave Japan through Yokota without leaving any legal record, which I believe is a concrete proof that my country is far from being defined as a sovereign nation. Sad!)
4. North Korean nukes are locked on to Tokyo. Therefore, Kim should show his credibility to “abandon Nukes” at least by setting his foot on the “targeted soil”. He’s got to impress the world that he’s got the balls.
5. DMZ is by far too risky. We’ve got to bear in mind that there are over 1,000,000 troops on stand-by across the border on the other side. Should some sort of “accident” occur, Mr Trump will be a dead meat. No escape.
6. Trump wants to ‘strike a deal’ ahead of November’s U.S midterm election. And that could mean enforcing Kim to abandon ICBMs that can reach the U.S mainland (N.Y Trump Tower, his home), but on the other hand acknowledging Pyongyang’s short-range missiles that is capable of striking Shibuya’s Hachico Dog in merely 8 minutes.
That’s unacceptable to say the least, and surely undermine the “top notch relationship” among the allies. And in order to avoid such a unilateral move by Donald, Tokyo must put strong pressure on the “Wig Man”.
7. The Japanese today are nothing but a flock of sheep these days. By holding direct talks in its capitol, it may work as a remedy to wake up the emasculated nation unaware of the imminent threats not only from the North but by far more powerful neighbors Xi Jinping the ‘indefinite ruler Pooh” and Vladimir “Machoman” Putin.
In order to maintain peace and balance within the region, it would be crucial for the descendants of the proud Samurais to have concerns over global issues by abandoning its insular mindedness. Remember fellas, all our neighbors possess nukes, whether as we do not. Where’s our ‘nuclear deterrent’ ？ Oh, Mr. Flip-flop?
To be blunt, that is pretty risky.
Should any contingency occur on the peninsula, S.China sea or Senkaku – WW3 could break out. Who knows!?
Yujiro Taniyama – Japan Broadcasting . net Editor in Chief
His daughter is “As dumb as a brick” – according to his “sloppy” former aide Steve Bannon. (Book: “Fire and Fury”)
Fox News owner Rupert Murdoch purpotedly labelled him as “A charlatan and a fool”.
But still, he is the kingmaker of our world today.
And of course, his name is Donald……..not the duck but Trump.
While “Winnie the Pooh” Xi Jinping has successfully hypnotised his fellow Communist comrades to allow him to rule China indefinitely, the notorious censorship of the authoritarian regime has forbidden its citizens from even searching the word “Pooh” on the internet.
What a creepy nation.
I am honestly happy that I wasn’t born in Shanghai.
The crackdown on the Tibetans, Uighurs and the Mongolians by the Beijing despot is also nothing new. Cultural genocides, the massive surveillance operations using thousands of CCTV cameras and the assimilation policy (forcing Chinese education system on the ‘aliens’) is no doubt killing the ethnicity of all the tribes.
If you don’t believe me, just go ask His Holiness the Dalai Lama the 14th.
Who cares on whether Ivanka is dumb or not!?
To be blunt, she is strikingly beautiful. Especially compared to her brother – who looks nothing but a hairy gorilla from Ueno zoo. Probably he’s biologically half Russian.
Btw, I had attended the “Pyonyang Olympics” 2018, which ended last week. The Outspoken Samurai had prepared for the worst, yes a nuclear war during the games (though forgot to purchase a gas mask made in China in advance), but fortunately it did not happen. But as Donald’s little man Mike Pence had warned, the Pyeongchang was truly a “political olympics” – used as a propaganda tool by the super fatty Kim Jong un and his friends.
As the world continued to give (during the games) an incredulous look towards the late Kim Jong Il’s youngest son who assasinated his half brother over a year ago in KL, the Seoul government’s Mun Jae in was extremely passionate to develop a close rapport with the fatty.
The ultra-left Mun government is so pro-North Korean Donald the Trump and his republican comrades must all be agitated banging their heads against the walls of the Whitehouse every morning.
A “Nuclear Pyongyang” is truly a nightmare, especially when Mr Kim has already developed an ICBM that can reach Tokyo is just 7 minutes or so. The famous Tsukiji’s sashimis and sushis as well as Tokyo Disneyland’s Donald the Duck will all be annihilated a way before we know that we’re all dead.
That being said, my understanding is that Japan needs to beef up its military capacity and that fast. History has proven that a war could be easily triggered by trivial matters, be it the assasination of Franz Ferdinand of Austria and his sweetheart Sophie on 28th June, 1914.
I went to a golf hitting range this morning, and struck 90 balls.
If you want to challenge me fellas, send me an invitation via JB’s website. Some people say that I’m a hell of a golfer with monstrous power of Zeus – that can hit 300 yards with 3 wood. But you see, due to the fact my political stance tilts to the right rather than to the left, often does the ball too.
Tokyo’s PM Shinzo Abe is an avid golfer unlike myself, who’s probably a fake. And Abe occasinally enjoys playing 18 holes with Donald the Golfer.
“Make the alliance even greater!” – was the original golf cap Shinzo made for Donald about 5 months ago when the latter visited Tokyo on his Asia tour. The slogan certainly did not impress me, because I could easily acknowledge how Shinzo was trying to cajole Donald on Pyongyang. But it just didn’t look cool, and from that point on (the moment the U.S President wore the cap and fled off to the golf course in suburban Tokyo), the Prime Minister of Japan had turned into a mere caddie of Donald the golfer.
In reality, we need Pentagon’s military support to maintain our sovereignty. There’s no doubt about that. Japan-U.S defence treaty is unshakable, as far as I am concerned. However at the same time, I find it absolutly shameful how the country I was born must rely on a third party (Ally – is such a pretty sounding word!) to defend itself. And it is undeniable that’s the sole reason why Shinzo must play the role of a “Pierrot” caddie.
Don’t take me wrong.
I do cherish the 7 decades old “Tomodachi friendship” with Washington.
Seven years ago, when a magnitude 9.0 earthquake struck northeastern part of Japan on March 11, subsequently leading to that devastating Tsunami and Fukushima nuclear disaster – USS Ronald Regan and my fellow American servicemen stationed in Japan (approx.47,000) immidiately headed to the Tsunami hit areas in the face of radioactive risks.
Only a true ally ( not fake) could take such an action.
And while Japan today is surely in a predicament over North Korea’s nuclear threat as well as the emerging Chinese military aggression in the region, the “caddie” in reality has no choice other than to count on the “golfer”.
But in conclusion, I cannot but help argue that its about time the habitants of the Japan archipelago get up on its own feet, and start proving that they are actually the proud descendents of the Samurais who had never succumbed to external force be it Ginghis Khan or the Russians. To my understanding, the “True Samurais” led by the famous Admiral Togo de facto perished in 1905 as the Empire of Japan prevailed over the Russian Empire.
The rest is history.
More than a hundred years on since the victorious Battle of Tsushima, the Samurais are dead. The Japanese today are emasculated, overwhelmingly timid like a flock of Aussie lambs.
If Kevin Spacey actually, and forcefully grabbed the crotch of young boys, “Winnie the Pooh” is also preparing to do the same on “Tokyo boys” – only to find that there are none; I mean yeah, the balls. In the latest survey of 2015, only 11% of the Japanese today have the guts and patriotism to fight for their nation in case of war – by far the lowest among the G7 nations.
Unfortunately, its we, the Japanese that are as “dumb as a brick”, not Ivanka.
Oh Donald the daddy, can I be the caddie of your daugher sir?!
Yujiro Taniyama – Japan Broadcasting.net Editor in Chief
This is not a new episode of NARUTO, DORAEMON or YOUR NAME IS.
That’s right, it’s real.
North Korea’s autocratic regime “successfully” tested their latest ‘Hydrogen Bomb’ yesterday (Sept. 3). Congratulations Mr Kim, I think you have done it once again.
You are indeed fat, inexplicable and brave.
North Korea can now inflict violence on Japan using the world’s deadliest weapon.
As a peace loving man, and a huge fan of Mr. John Lennon, Mr.Kim’s obstinate actions are utterly shameful.
If you currently live in Europe or North America, I pretty much assume that you do not feel their repugnant provocation directly through your skin. For you readers, Fatty possessing nukes don’t really matter, likewise.
Well, if you are far-off 10,000 km away, that’s highly understandable.
But that surely is not the case if you are in Tokyo. 6 days ago the North launched its proud Hwasong-12 missile (meaning Mars) ‘over our mainland’, freaking us out.
The unthinking flock of sheep across Japan had diapers all wet in despair. (Including myself, sadly)
“Oh mama, what am I gonna do?! General McArthur!”
I shouted, in vain.
The situation in East Asia is escalating rapidly to a crucial level, starring the ruthless barbarian (Mr Fatty). I am currently based in Tokyo, which is one of the ‘main targets’ for his men since the world’s largest mega-city is also a ‘home’ for over 130 U.S bases and military facilities, which is of course by far too many to my understanding. (You may be surprised by this hilarious fact already)
“All options are on the table” for Washington. Trump tweeted “North Korea is dangerous”, as always. But personally I do play down the ‘pre-emtive strike’ narrative by the U.S, since it is synonymous for the annihilation of Seoul – a city of 10 million.
But of course, it could happen. Hiroshima did happen, and so did Nagasaki.
That being said, probably learning from history means that we have to imagine the unimaginable.
Predict the unpredictable.
I repeat. Pyongyang is an imminent threat. Albeit being the most peaceful man on the face of the earth and also as a timid, shy Japanese national, my argument is that Tokyo should, and must begin contemplating on whether we should possess our own nuclear arsenal, as a means of self-preservation. Survival.
What? To wage war on China? Well, no, not again.
To be honest we are too ‘old’ for that. Please bear in mind that one out of every four Japanese are now aged over 65. The Japanese today are all about complacency and ‘tatemae’ – or never disclosing what you actually feel inside (but flatter instead, bollox), if you speak out “Let’s ask Sony, Panasonic and Hitachi to develop nukes in 3 weeks!”, that person is destined to be either ostracized or segregated.
But as this blog is all about behaving as an “Outspoken Samurai”, I will lead the path no other shall follow. Yes, speak out on Japan’s standing in the world (which is ridiculously frail, as we’ve been nothing but a panting puppy of Washington since 1945, national-security wise), and pursue what sort of action Tokyo ought to perpetuate before the ‘Fatty’ Mr.Kim uses his brand new TOY.
As the taste of Ramen changes frequently, so should the security stategy. An ‘accidental’ war could be trigerred at any moment in the areas surrounding the Sea of Japan. This is neither a Manga, ONE PIECE or an Anime, meaning that to obtain a new ‘Samurai Katana Sword’ has now become Tokyo’s ultimate priority.
So in this blog, I’ve intentionally cooked up 8 reasons why it is imminent for Nippon to have the ‘balls’ and arm itself. Doing simply nothing under current circumstances is pathetic fellas.
1. ‘U.S nuclear deterrent’ is unfortunately not working. This fact has been proven by the fact North Korea has already gone nuclear. As a big fan of MLB (and Ichiro), I do count on the world’s most powerful military with a stunning $600 billion annual budget. But even their super pricy ‘nuclear umbrella’ could not prevent Pyongyang going nuclear. Let’s face it.
2. Absolute deterrent against Pyongyang. Tokyo desperately needs a feasible deterrent in order to SURVIVE. If NK’s nukes become eligible (in a couple of months) to strike L.A or N.Y, it is highly likely Trump will ‘strike a deal’ with Kim allowing the posession of SRBMs such as Nodong and Tepodong missiles, on the condition they abandon ICBMs – meaning the end of U.S nuclear deterrence for Japan.
3. BALANCE OF POWER. Besides, the current S.Korean government led by Mun is ultra liberal, with an extremely soft stance on the North. Furthermore, a ‘Unified Korea’ within the next two decades shall also mean ‘Nuclear Korea’. That being said, Tokyo with nukes will neutralize the region. Japan has 46.9 metric tons of plutonium stockpiled (2016), with the capacity to build 5,000 nukes.
4. ‘9th AMENDMENT’ – About time the ‘Flock of sheep’ claim responsibility for it’s own safety, instead of acting like a panting puppy of Washington (like the U.K) – Japan has become a ‘burden’ for America as Trump had claimed at a CNN interview in March, 2016 if my memory is correct (“They must pay more for defense, they should defend on its own against N.Korea, U.S is bankrupt with $21 trillion!”, he said, remember?). It is a well known fact that the Japanese are obsessed with ‘nuclear allergy’ due to its traumatic past of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. However, under the current circumstances the ‘unthinkable’ is thinkable. If the Japanese are not dumb, posessing nuclear bombs may also lead to amending the ‘Manga Constitution Article 9’ in the next general election (expected in 2018) – obtaining offensive capability which is currently prohibited under the U.S made 1946 constitution.
5. SENKAKU ISLANDS. Regional power China is flexing its military muscles daily infiltrating the territorial waters of Japan’s Senkaku Islands. Just like their military buildup in the S.China sea and the reclamation of artificial islands, Beijing is preparing for a direct invasion of the Senkakus which is highly likely to trigger WW3. Nuclear armed Tokyo shall definitely contribute to regional stability. Also remember, we of course do not kidnap human rights lawyers.
6. U.S WILL NOT ‘DEFEND’ JAPAN RISKING IT’s MAINLAND. Machiavellism. National interest. That’s how politics work. Don’t get me wrong, I am no anti-American. It’s all the Japanese’s fault that we have been overly dependent and subservient in its relationship with the U.S. I repeat, WE are to blame.
7. Non-Proliferation Treaty/Strategy is dead. I do condone the latest moves by 122 brave nations that signed a historic treaty to ban nuclear bombs, but Kim’s recent nukes/missile tests have invalidated the whole process. John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’ is a true classic, but the time for hypocrisy is over. Besides, the P5 will never abandon their prerogatives.
8. Please think for yourself. You are by far smarter than me.
Btw, I saw a brilliant comedy starring Robert De Niro, Sean Penn and Demi Moore last night.
That’s right, “We’re No Angels”.
Samurai Yujiro Taniyama – Editor in Chief, Japan Broadcasting
When the Berlin Wall was torn down in November 1989, U.S.S.R de facto died.
‘Ronald’ prevailed, ‘Nancy’ cheered, ‘Mikhail’ vanquished and ‘Donald’ was merely a flamboyant real-estate celebrity.
Just 3 months prior to this “end of East-Germany”, thousands of Chinese students and innocent protesters were massacred in Tiananmen.
The date was June 4th.
Communist autocrat Deng Xiao ping’s tanks ruthlessly ran over his ‘worthless traitors’ demanding democracy.
After the collapse of the Soviet Union, the U.S realized that it had lost its longstanding menace since September 1945. Washington was simultaneously deprived of its crucial objective during the cold war – to “crush the Russians”.
That left the U.S to give priority and focus on the domestic issues, such as racism, gun violence, teenage pregnancy and “creating jobs” for the Americans.
The end of the cold war meant the beginning of American isolationism.
Therefore, it is natural to think that Donald Trump’s protectionism and “America First” policy in fact has its basic roots back then, nearly three decades ago. And that may be why the incumbent 45th Mr President is keen on maintaining amicable relationship with Kremlin.
Or am I digging in too far?! Too hypothetical?
Anyways, one thing for certain and unshakable is that the fall of the Soviet Union automatically left the U.S as the sole superpower.
Dog steak in Beijing
But now in 2017, a brand new ‘superpower’ is on the rise.
Eating dogs is ubiquitous in this authoritarian state, where Google, YouTube and Facebook are banned. And what’s worse, this rising power is eating up all the “islands” in South China sea, reclaiming it, then renovating them to artificial military bases.
Some call them ‘man-made islands’.
7 of them purportedly have been built so far.
Does VP Mike Pence eat dog steak with some mash potato and ketchup? I doubt it. For the Americans, dogs are not edible, but “walkable”….. I mean, Californians love walking dogs along the beaches of Santa Monica.
That goes the same from Tokyo, Milano to San Francisco, worldwide.
So, what do we make out of it?!
Dog Meat Festival
According to Clair Huot, the Associate Professor at the University of Calgary, “dog meat was three times cheaper than a pig by the Eastern Han dynasty”.
Dog eating and killing is widely practiced even today, and the Chinese often eat them as a hotpot. Dog head, dog brain, dog tongue, puppies are a lavish meal.
“Dog Meat Festival” began in the province of Jiangsu in 2007.
Ms Huot has also pointed out that on January 10, 2016, Nanjing local news reported a gruesome scene of a 60 year old man skinning the dog alive on Dachang street.
I may be a vulgar, abrasive man, but still regard myself as a catalyst for peace. Furthermore, I do not club dogs to death like the Chinese butchers do today. That’s blatantly barbaric.
And I sincerely would like to notify you great readers that if we don’t remain vigilant, the corrupt, sneaky Beijing officials will start treating you and I like a Saint Bernard or a local street dog sent to the the famous Dog Meat Festival.
International law is “rubbish”
Last year in 2016, the Permanent Court of Arbitration in Hague ruled that the so called the “9 dash line” claimed by China is baseless and illicit under the international law. While Vietnam, the Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia and Taiwan claim sovereignty over the scattered islands in South China Sea where $5 trillion worth world trade passes through, Beijing somehow defiantly argues “90% of the sea ‘historically’ belongs to China” – whatever that means.
Whats’ s even more ludicrous, Beijing downplayed last year’s historic, decisive ruling by The Hague calling it a “rubbish”.
Boy, what an inhumane response, just like butchering dogs.
And of course, I emphatically refute Beijing’s inexplicable, unsubstantiated claims that hilariously undermines the international law.
For the PRC, all its surrounding waters and territories as well as its Asian neighbors are de facto ‘dogs’ – edible to say the least. Credit Suisse think tank report ranks Beijing as the world’s 3rd largest military, just behind U.S and Russia with annual budget of $215 billion (2016).
That’s far larger than that of all the Asian nations combined.
Then comes the famous fat turd, Mr Kim Jong un.
The hugely overweight totalitarian ruler has already made irretrievable damages in its foreign relations by conducting ICBM tests almost “weekly”, while his people are eating shoes.
From east to west, the world today faces tumultuous catastrophes and political turmoil more than ever before, and that especially in east Asia.
Nuked Pyongyang has already become a irrefutable reality, while the troublesome former Seoul president is behind bars. I am a big fan of the classic novel “Moon and the Six pence” by Maugham, but the new ‘MOON’ in the Blue house (Seoul presidential HQ) seems to be nothing but a pro-North Korean populist and a successor of the late disgraced ultra -left president Roh Moohyung.
I do anticipate that the Tokyo-Seoul relationship will be crucially undermined under this Moon presidency that’s just took off.
Dog Eating Alliance
We the Japanese eat Whale meat, both raw and cooked. I must admit that it’s awfully smelly, but at the same time its finger lickin’ good, so give it a try when you visit Tokyo on your next trip.
Just a 90 minute train ride from the Tokyo station will carry you to this coastal town of Tateyama in Chiba (not China) prefecture. Yes, please hop off at the Tateyama station. Why? Because you can enjoy the yummy cuisine unavailable in London, Hong kong or San Paulo. Yes, the famous whale meat lunch box is available for just 900 yen, so give it a shot of your lifetime!
But we don’t eat dogs.
Koreans are no different from the Chinese when it comes to Saint Bernards. Though it may be not on a menu, go ask for a ‘dog’ at a Korean restaurant and they should offer you a ‘plan B’.
Ostensibly, Dog eating Beijing has implemented “tough sanctions” on Pyongyang by suspending the purchase of North Korean coal until the end of 2017. But still, the recent media reports suggest that China – North Korea trade grew by 37.4 % in the first quarter of this year compared to that of 2016.
This means that the “Dog Eating Alliance” (D.E.A) is still solid and robust behind the curtain.
We’ve all got to bear in mind that both countries have infatuation with dogs. And that not as pets, but as their evening buffet.
That, they have in common.
It pretty much stands out, since probably no other country does the same in a modern world these days. And my argument is that this DOG EATING ALLIANCE is unshakable, and unbreakable, just like dogs mate daily across the globe.
That being said, I’d like to conclude this article by contemplating Tokyo’s role in facing this hugely disruptive alliance.
Shameful Grass eaters
Let me make it crystal clear. Don’t count on us.
The answer is quite simple.
The Japanese don’t eat dogs. But instead, we are “Grass eaters”. I don’t mean cannabis, but just a plain grass in the countryside.
To make a long story short, the Japanese today has got no balls like Mr Trump. You may point out that his predecessor also had no balls, unable to intervene militarily in Syria or halt PRC’s military invasion in the South China sea.
But still, its just incomparable to the complacency and irresponsibility of the “diligent” Japanese regarding not only the national security, but peace and stability in the region.
Humans are apt to become belligerent by eating MEAT.
Your muscle becomes larger, with nutritious oily protein while the sexual desires soar also by consuming beef and pork, without a doubt DOGS for some people.
Though not public displayed, Koreans and the Chinese for a long time believed (and still do) that DOG STEW empowers you with resilience and stamina. Ancient Chinese also believed dog eating ward off evil spirit.
On the other hand, the Japanese were banned from eating “4 legged animals” until the Meiji Restoration that began in 1868. Therefore, the world famous “Sukiyaki” wasn’t even on our menu till Commodore Perry knocked Japan Shogunate’s door in 1853.
Instead, we eat fish.
You know that, and so do I.
However, what’s critical is that the modern Japanese are “Grass eaters” – not dogs, not fish, but GRASS.
Lambs eat grass.
While they eat all day, they don’t speak a word. They are horrendously quiet, polite and ‘enslaved’ by their master. All they care about is fulfilling its voracious appetite in a small world they live in.
That’s right. Flock of sheep – that’s what we are today, ladies and gentlemen.
If the American isolationism is said to have begun in the early 1990’s after the fall of the Soviet Union, well the Japanese isolationism is an ongoing issue. You may obviously point out “What the heck! The McDonalds in Shibuya and Shinjuku is packed with millennials and schoolgirls eating cheeseburger with coke” ;
Well, that is factually correct.
Our diet deeply relies on meat today, as well as fish. Bread than rice. Obesity has become a huge issue just like any other G7 nations.
That’s right. My “Grass eaters” narrative is all about our mentality, psychological-wise. Playing Playstation and Nintendo on Friday nights instead of asking a girl out for a pint of beer is nothing new these days, in Tokyo. The recent surveys discloses some deplorable reality that a common “DREAM” for elementary school kids and the millennials is to ‘become a bureaucrat at a local town office’ –
Only 23.5% of the Japanese possesses passport today.
While over 300,000 Chinese students study in the U.S today, you rarely see a Japanese honor student at Harvard.
Insular thinking roots deep in our society, undermining its resilience as a nation.
What’s worse, having eaten too much grass, the Japanese are now ‘brain dead’. Instead of revising our ‘Pussy-Cat constitution’ and building a truly sovereign state that has the capability to defend on its own, we are overly subservient in our relationship with Washington and count too heavily on Mr Trump’s military muscles.
Tokyo is a concubine of Washington.
And I don’t blame the Americans. They take measures based on their own national interest, and thats how politics work. The assertion Trump made during his presidential campaign last year in March, that “Japan should start thinking how to defend itself against North Korean threat. Pay more, or U.S forces will withdraw” perfectly makes sense.
It’s an irrefutable truth.
In order to sustain peace, stability in the region as well as the international law, Tokyo has a role to play – which is to beef up its military strength and at the same time revise article 9.2 of our constitution which stipulates “Land, Sea and Air forces will never be maintained. The right of the belligerency of the state will not be acknowledged” ; made by the U.S occupying forces in 1946 in just 7 days.
Not a dog meat, but a powerful North Korean nuclear missiles are hanging precariously in Mr Kim’s house, targeted at Tokyo and Kyoto. This may sound hilarious, but for the Japan-U.S alliance to prevail over the Dog Eating Alliance, we’ve got to get up on our own feet instead of being breast fed by mother Trump.
With over $20 trillion government debt, the “MILK” bottle is already empty. The ruling Liberal Democratic Party is pathetically sluggish in its reforms, from the constitution, de-regulation to childcare.
While Trump is highly likely to exit from the Paris climate deal, American protectionism and isolationism will inevitably accelerate. And it is truly a shame that I am a resident of a frail country that must be “protected” by this untrustworthy, unthinking property tycoon.
We’ve got no balls anymore.
Only Ichiro has.
Yujiro Taniyama – Japan Broadcasting Editor in Chief
That’s how much he allegedly weighs.
Pretty heavy, to be honest.
That’s the distance from Pyongyang to Tokyo.
Pretty close, to be honest. ICBM shall strike the world’s largest capital of 38 million in less than ten minutes.
Whether the ‘Fat Turd’ (FT) is a smart-cookie or not as hailed by Trump, he indisputably is a huge menace to Japan as well as Asia as a whole.
Of course, we are referring to the ruthless, reckless Pyongyang dictator Kim Jong un.
FT never goes to the gym.
All he does is eat, drink, kill and excrete.
But still, the international media is totally dominated by this Fatty. Not a day goes by without the rockstars ‘FT & Donald’.
Should North Korea be obliterated, he won’t dare take the risks to continue the nuke tests, pundits say.
I don’t believe so.
FT is an enigma.
His mother Ko yong hee’s birthplace is a state secret, to begin with. The AERA magazine, published by Japan’s liberal Asahi newspaper reported back in 2012 that FT (not the Financial Times) ‘s mother was born in Tsiruhashi, Osaka in 1952. Ethnically Korean, she was purportedly a “Zainichi Nisei” (2nd generation Korean residing in Japan) according to quite a few Japanese medias.
As the third wife of the late Kim Jong il, she had three children, and the notorious FT was the second son.
The other Fatty gentleman that was murdered at KLIA recently was FT’s half brother. They had a different mom.
‘Donald Kim’ alliance
While the famously unpopular U.S president’s polls suggest only three out of ten Americans support the man, FT has the backing of 100% of its citizens.
I mean, the North Koreans are deprived of their basic voting rights. Therefore, ostensibly FT enjoys full support from its 25 million citizens.
That’s a stark contrast, isn’t it?!
Hollywood actor Robert De Niro is adamant when he rebukes Trump as a ‘stupid dog’. His coherent stance is pretty much remarkable compared to Mitt Romney for example, who called Trump a ‘phoney’ during the election but later became a panting puppy after Hillary was ousted.
Others in the business seem to have no guts to mock the 45th president the way De Niro does, and I adore the ‘Taxi driver’ for that.
‘Fat Turd’ Kim Jong un is by no means a ‘smart cookie’ as depicted by Trump. I firmly believe he is nothing but an inexplicable, spoiled 130kg dumbass who’s serious only about how to alleviate his feeling of hunger when his people are eating shoes.
Hilariously, Tokyo is a puppet of Trump. The complacency of we the Japanese is staggering, without a single thought on ‘how to face the grave military aggression of not only FT, but also Beijing and Moscow’ in the years to come.
Today is the national constitution day. May 3. It marks the 70th anniversary since our current constitution ‘Made by USA’ made a debut in the ruins of over 66 heavily bombed Japanese cities, leaving two million without a home.
I will not celebrate this day like other flock of sheep without balls, nor raise the Japanese flag.
The highly hypocritical ruling party LDP is yet to accomplish the revision of the contentious ‘article 9’ of the 1946 constitution in which they promised back in 1955. PM Abe and his comrades argue the need to do so ostensibly, but are not really serious about it, since it is by far easier and less risky to remain as the ‘dog on a leash’ – Trump Doggy , that is.
It is proven by the fact you hardly see LDP MP’s addressing the need to amend article 9 out in the open public, like Shibuya and Shinjuku.
LDP is not serious about it, nor are its citizens. So if you work for PLA or the Chinese Communist Party, don’t miss the chance, or you’ll regret it.
Dear readers, I’m by no means downplaying the Whitehorse. All I’m stressing is the need for Tokyo to beef up its sovereignty and military capability to face FT and its communist allies.
Because if we continue our ridiculous subservient attitude towards the US (since the present constitution came to effect on this very day, 70 years ago) , it will endanger not only the land of the rising sun but the ‘bankrupt’ United States of America itself.
‘Please defend us American mommy!’ – that’s been the orthodox, shameful attitude of the Japanese after WW2.
Boy, do we ever grow up.
Fat turd Kim Jong un’s mother was born in Osaka.
Bruce Springsteen was born in America.
The moment Trump or Kim launches a pre-emptive strike on its adversary, some serious consequences will occur. All Tokyo Disneyland, Universal Studios Osaka and Ko Young hee’s birthplace may be obliterated.
But probably that’s only when Tokyo will retain its genuine independence.
Or is post war Japan itself an American joke fellas?!
Let’s wait and see.
Japan Broadcasting – Editor in Chief
Pundits across the globe are warning the citizens of Tokyo, Seoul and the G7 nations that the ‘dinner is ready’.
Exuberant Trump is ready for a pre-emptive strike on North Korea, they all say, which to me is no surprise.
But wait a minute.
Who’s going to be the ‘victor’ of this upcoming war?! Asaad? No. Mao Asada (Japanese Olympian Skater that retired yesterday)? No. Putin San? No. Mr Xi?! Absolutely not.
Ruthless Kim Jong un vs relentless Trump. It’s highly unlikely they’ll have a ‘hamburger lunch’ anytime soon, but instead a ‘Hamburger – Kimchi War’ could begin in a blink of an eye considering the fact USS Carl Vinson is already on a stand by in Sea of Japan.
Toshiba duped by an American phoney Westinghouse Electric
The viral video of FAA officials forcing an American citizen (not an illegal immigrant) Mr David Dao on UA Flight 3411 was merely repugnant.
Westinghouse Electric’s CEO Danny Roderick who filed for bankruptcy recently was another fraudulent phoney that de facto ‘eradicated’ its parent company Toshiba.
The management of Toshiba were not only dumb, but critically complacent as to be victimized by phoney Roderick’s cold blooded charade.
Since I have no bigotry, I am well aware of the fact that there are quite a few good hearted Americans on its soil. But at the same time those covered on western mainstream medias are usually phoneys and ‘pathological liars’ to my knowledge.
Trump pledged ‘America First’ and won the votes. After 100 days in office, we’ve learned that he’s doing exactly the opposite. Bombing Syria, and next Pyongyang. You call his recent moves ‘World Policeman USA’.
Of course I do not condone the North Korean authoritarian regime nor its biggest communist ally. That being said, Trump’s pressure on Xi Jinping in Florida a couple of days ago was a prudent one.
But is he actually going to wage a bloody ‘Hamburger – Kimchi’ battle?!
If Heinz made ketchup is the ‘blood’ , then the color of Korean chilly is also the same. I was stunned when I visited Pan Munjon – or the 38th parallel about a decade ago that it was only 40 kilometers from Myongdong, the core shopping center in Seoul.
So if the battle does begin, the South Koreans including the incarcerated beauty Ms Pak Geun hye are likely to fall prey to the Kim Jong un invasion to say the least.
Japan on the other hand may also suffer, with Kim’s unpredictable Nodong missiles presumably crushing into Roppongi or Kyoto or Miyajima. Who knows?!
I am pretty wary and skeptical of the ‘100 % accuracy’ of the so called the US built THAAD system. It is super pricey(unsurprisingly $ billions) , and better be ultra hi tech, but still when Pyongyang fires 30 missiles towards Tokyo Tower it is unthinkable that they’ll be all shot down.
And if the accuracy is just 50%, then it will prove that THAAD is a total failure falling far short of what it’s worth.
It will surely be an embarrassing moment for the Pentagon as well.
Japan has no nukes, but instead invented ‘Doraemon’- a super hi tech cat like robot from the 22nd century after WW2.
This ‘cat’ is 1000 times well equipped compared to Mr Tom ‘impossible’ Cruise. If you don’t believe me, please just google it. You’ll know why.
Doraemon is a huge international sensation across Asia. Thais love him, as well as the Chinese and the Koreans. Controversial UA flight’s Mr Dao was depicted as ‘disruptive and belligerent ‘ – according to the CEO of the embattled aviation company. But that usage is blatantly incorrect, while Kim and Trump perfectly matches that depiction, cynically speaking.
Doraemon’ s amicable character, as well as his ‘Moshimo Box’ shall save our planet from entering WW3. He’ll go inside the phone booth(box) and yell ‘If there were no A Bombs in this world!’ – then the whole crisis shall be over.
What you say inside the Moshimo Box becomes a reality! And if by any chance that doesn’t work, NARUTO shall step in. He’s another Japanese Superhero that can make a huge difference in world affairs, to my knowledge. And my pure wish is, ladies and gents….. have ‘Tokyo’ play the crucial role of NARUTO- a funny but super powerful Samurai who loves Ramen( instant type too).
But in conclusion, that’s definitely a ‘mission impossible’ unfortunately, I must admit. Our cowardly, unthinking pacifist constitution set up back in 1946 is somehow still widely effective till this very day, depriving our citizens of the indispensable Samurai Bushido spirit to stand up when needed.
Our subservient attitude towards Washington is a huge surprise even to quite a few Americans friends I know of. If the British mock themselves as the ‘panting puppy’ of the Whitehouse, so are we. In that sense, Trump was perfectly correct when he pointed out during last year’s Presidential election that Japan shall find a way to defend itself against Pyongyang, instead of counting on the US – especially when the Japan-American 1960 defense treaty is hilariously ‘one sided’.
You foreign readers of this blog shall be appalled to actually read that in our ‘1946 constitution’ made by Big Mac or Douglas McArthur, it stipulates that ‘the belligerency of the state shall never be maintained’.
I’m not joking fellas, it’s true.
UA flight’s David Dao’s belligerency : 5%
Donald Trump’s belligerency: 75%
Kim Jong un’s belligerency: 90%
Japan’s belligerency: 0%
OMG, isn’t it ridiculous. Maggie, Maggie Thatcher ma’am can you hear me?!
What are we waiting for?! A missile strike by Mr Hamburger of Kimchi-Fatty or Doraemon?!
No, to be honest, NARUTO is whom I count on the most.
Come! I’ll cook a really yummy pork based doro-doro Ramen for you, with tons of garlic! Of course it’s a dream never come true. He’ll never appear.
Japan Broadcasting. net Editor in Chief
Trump administration’s Steve Bannon claims U.S is struggling with its $20 trillion debt.
And we have the 45th Mr President totally indoctrinated by his advisor Mr B. ‘Our monstrous debt is a real killer! I’m gonna create more jobs fella. More jobs! Oh, our nation is bankrupt’ – they reiterate.
Big deal. We’ve all got to bear on our mind that back in the 1970’s and till the late 80’s, US (not IS) would bully Japan saying “You guys export too many small HONDA and TOYOTA cars to the U.S goddamit, creating huge trade deficit and huge unemployment. Stop it!” .
What a self centered, arrogant claim it was. American public loved (and the still do fortunately!) cars made in Japan or by Japanese automakers and the sales skyrocketed, but somehow the US government claimed ‘the system is unfair’; whatever that means.
For the past 50 years or more, whenever Washington started losing economic-wars, they put a total blame on Tokyo pointing out ‘Free trade is what America is all about! But we have a huge deficit crisis here, you and I. And that’s because the way you do business is UNFAIR!”
Hilarious and despicable.
This ‘Yankee bully’ against Japan continued even after the collapse of the Soviet Union. The Clinton administration saw Tokyo as an economic-menace in the 1990’s imposing various kinds of legislations and pressures to clandestinely undermine its ‘ally’.
It was a huge success indeed.
Bill from Arkansas enjoyed flirting with Monica to say the least, and also had a huge fun targeting its ‘new adversary’ after the end of the Cold War.
Oh Ronald…dear Ronald Regan, only if you were the U.S leader also in the 90’s sir!
And now in 2017, we don’t have Ronald, but the world is in awe of ‘Donald’- who is cooking up excuses for America’s debt and ‘loss of jobs’ to ‘unfair trade’.
The only difference is folks, this time the foe is China. Not Japan.
Needless to argue Beijing is an abrasive, ruthless rising power that’s creating huge instability and turmoil in Asia with its military might. However, what’s more ridiculous is the same old rhetoric and tactic by the Whitehouse to bully its trade partners to achieve its political means.
Why don’t Apple make iPhones in California?!
You know the answer, of course. Go ask the widow of Mr Jobs.
Why are American jobs in jeopardy?!
“Because China, Korea and Japan is UNFAIR” – Mr Donald would argue during last year’s presidential campaign. Impose punitive 45% tariff on iPhones “Made in China” ?
Oh give me a break. Not a KitKat.
To my view, U.S will never become ‘great again’ as long as it intends to enforce its domestic shortcomings on the third party.
Japan used to be a threat for the U.S back then, and now it’s Xi Jinping. We all know that.
But we have all forgotten the history of how Mr Trump’s predecessors undermined Tokyo with its baseless claims using the notorious legislation ‘Super 301‘
instead of cooking Sushi together as an ‘ally’.
To be honest I do value the new U.S President’s candid character, as well as his approach to North Korea’s Mr Fatty Kim. But as an Outspoken Samurai of the 21st century, I just cannot turn a blind eye to the typical smear campaigns from Washington using ‘unfair deals’ rhetoric for the trade deficits and American trucks and cars not selling at all in Japan.
What a nonsense. Wasn’t America about ‘free trade’ and hotdogs?!
Remember folks, tax on American car is 0% in Japan! And it’s 25% on the opposite. Despite the fact, TOYOTAS are recording massive sales in Mr Trump’s home country.
Why is that?!
Ivanka san, why are they selling by far more than your great shirts and skirts?!
Irasshaimase! いらっしゃいませ (‘Welcome’ in Japanese)
And welcome to the ‘Land of the Rising FUN’.
Good Sushi, Good life. Good Sake, Good life. And Good Tokyo, Good Tomorrow.
Escape from the cul-de-sac of flooding ‘fake news’ and tumultuous daily routine, but instead grab a can of beer and your passport ‘n cheap LCC ticket ‘n come ‘n hop into the Hakone onsen just an hour or so train ride from Haneda airport or Shinjuku or Yokohama!
Just as for a quick introduction, my name is Yujiro Taniyama. Though some ignorant phony may mistaken me for an illegal immigrant from Chongqing, China – let me warn you folks, I am a proud Japanese national with a bloody red 10 year Japanese passport! If Mr Donald J. Trump is the 45th US President, then I am the ‘Outspoken Samurai’.
And today I am honored to announce the launch of 「OUTSPOKEN SAMURAI 」、a challenging editorial that discloses my daily clandestine thoughts on world affairs, from entertainment, Anime to Melania Trump.
It will be in both English & Japanese, and written back and forth in these two languages.
8,346,969 foreign tourists, or Gaijins (means foreign national in Japanese. To avoid misunderstanding, this term is NOT a pejorative – all my Gaijin friends in Tokyo loves calling themselves ‘Tokyo Gaijin’) visited Japan back 10 years ago, in 2007.
In 2010, the figure was still 8,611,175. Then in 2013, for the first time in Japan’s long winding history since Emperor Jinmu 660 B.C, the Gaijin tourists hit the 10 million benchmark! And what’s astonishing, the figure skyrocketed tremendously onwards. 13,413,467 (2014) , 19,737,409 (2015. Source: JNTO) , and last year finally surpassed 24 million! OMG
As the wave of protectionism and anti-immigration spreads across the globe thanks to Mr Donald and friends (including the mighty smart Brits), my narrow path to victory and diversity goes quite the opposite.
I embrace internationalism and globalization.
Having grown up in Adelaide and Bangkok myself, I refute any sort of racism having been bullied and downplayed due to my ‘flat face’ and the color of my skin in ‘white Australia back in the ’80s when my heros MJ, Madonna and George Michael had began to dominate the MTV!
Anyways, one of my secret mission of this 「OUTSPOKEN SAMURAI 」is to connect the dots, connect the people for a better understanding of the world we live in. Prudence and benevolence.
But at the same I am the obnoxious Outspoken Samurai fellas, ready to become a smelly villain by my adversaries if needed. We’ve got to speak out in what you believe in!
Conformity is definitely a huge problem within the Japanese society and mentality, and it hampers innovation. U.S.A is definitely not the ‘Greatest Nation in the World’ (lol) as was often quoted by Obama and still is by Trump – but I must admit one greatness of America is its potential for self innovation. When J.F.K was assassinated more than half a century a go, blacks were openly referred to as ‘Stinking Niggers’ and were prohibited from attending same schools and movie theaters as the whites. But 50 years on, you have a half-black-President.
That sort of drastic change would never take place in Tokyo, unfortunately. Innovation man, I say it again, innovation! And that’s exactly why we need the damn Gaijins!
SONY is dead, SHARP is dead ( it’s Taiwanese owned now to say the least), and now TOSHIBA is gone. Thank you Mr Westinghouse. The ‘smart’ Japanese elites were duped by our fellow Americans once again)
Not good morning, ‘coz I’m standing on the land of the Rising Sun!
Editor in Chief – Japan Broadcasting