‘Fat Turd’ Kim Jong un’s mother was ‘Made in Osaka’

130 kg.

That’s how much he allegedly weighs.

Pretty heavy, to be honest.

1300 km.

That’s the distance from Pyongyang to Tokyo.

Pretty close, to be honest. ICBM shall strike the world’s largest capital of 38 million in less than ten minutes.

Whether the ‘Fat Turd’ (FT) is a smart-cookie or not as hailed by Trump, he indisputably is a huge menace to Japan as well as Asia as a whole.

Of course, we are referring to the ruthless, reckless Pyongyang dictator Kim Jong un.

FT never goes to the gym.

All he does is eat, drink, kill and excrete.

But still, the international media is totally dominated by this Fatty. Not a day goes by without the rockstars ‘FT & Donald’.

Should North Korea be obliterated, he won’t dare take the risks to continue the nuke tests, pundits say.

I don’t believe so.

FT is an enigma.

His mother Ko yong hee’s birthplace is a state secret, to begin with. The AERA magazine, published by Japan’s liberal Asahi newspaper reported back in 2012 that FT (not the Financial Times) ‘s mother was born in Tsiruhashi, Osaka in 1952. Ethnically Korean, she was purportedly a “Zainichi Nisei” (2nd generation Korean residing in Japan) according to quite a few Japanese medias.

As the third wife of the late Kim Jong il, she had three children, and the notorious FT was the second son.

The other Fatty gentleman that was murdered at KLIA recently was FT’s half brother. They had a different mom.

‘Donald Kim’ alliance

While the famously unpopular U.S president’s polls suggest only three out of ten Americans support the man, FT has the backing of 100% of its citizens.

I mean, the North Koreans are deprived of their basic voting rights. Therefore, ostensibly FT enjoys full support from its 25 million citizens.

That’s a stark contrast, isn’t it?!

Hollywood actor Robert De Niro is adamant when he rebukes Trump as a ‘stupid dog’. His coherent stance is pretty much remarkable compared to Mitt Romney for example, who called Trump a ‘phoney’ during the election but later became a panting puppy after Hillary was ousted.

Others in the business seem to have no guts to mock the 45th president the way De Niro does, and I adore the ‘Taxi driver’ for that.

‘Fat Turd’ Kim Jong un is by no means a ‘smart cookie’ as depicted by Trump. I firmly believe he is nothing but an inexplicable, spoiled 130kg dumbass who’s serious only about how to alleviate his feeling of hunger when his people are eating shoes.

Hilariously, Tokyo is a puppet of Trump. The complacency of we the Japanese is staggering, without a single thought on ‘how to face the grave military aggression of not only FT, but also Beijing and Moscow’ in the years to come.

Today is the national constitution day. May 3. It marks the 70th anniversary since our current constitution ‘Made by USA’ made a debut in the ruins of over 66 heavily bombed Japanese cities, leaving two million without a home.

I will not celebrate this day like other flock of sheep without balls, nor raise the Japanese flag.

The highly hypocritical ruling party LDP is yet to accomplish the revision of the contentious ‘article 9’ of the 1946 constitution in which they promised back in 1955. PM Abe and his comrades argue the need to do so ostensibly, but are not really serious about it, since it is by far easier and less risky to remain as the ‘dog on a leash’ – Trump Doggy , that is.

It is proven by the fact you hardly see LDP MP’s addressing the need to amend article 9 out in the open public, like Shibuya and Shinjuku.

I repeat.

LDP is not serious about it, nor are its citizens. So if you work for PLA or the Chinese Communist Party, don’t miss the chance, or you’ll regret it.

Dear readers, I’m by no means downplaying the Whitehorse. All I’m stressing is the need for Tokyo to beef up its sovereignty and military capability to face FT and its communist allies.

Because if we continue our ridiculous subservient attitude towards the US (since the present constitution came to effect on this very day, 70 years ago) , it will endanger not only the land of the rising sun but the ‘bankrupt’ United States of America itself.

‘Please defend us American mommy!’ – that’s been the orthodox, shameful attitude of the Japanese after WW2.

Boy, do we ever grow up.

Fat turd Kim Jong un’s mother was born in Osaka.

Bruce Springsteen was born in America.

The moment Trump or Kim launches a pre-emptive strike on its adversary, some serious consequences will occur. All Tokyo Disneyland, Universal Studios Osaka and Ko Young hee’s birthplace may be obliterated.

But probably that’s only when Tokyo will retain its genuine independence.

Or is post war Japan itself an American joke fellas?!

Let’s wait and see.

Good Rising!

Yujiro Taniyama

Japan Broadcasting – Editor in Chief

Doraemon & Naruto will save the world from ‘Pyongyang vs Trump War’

Pundits across the globe are warning the citizens of Tokyo, Seoul and the G7 nations that the ‘dinner is ready’.

Exuberant Trump is ready for a pre-emptive strike on North Korea, they all say, which to me is no surprise.

But wait a minute.

Who’s going to be the ‘victor’ of this upcoming war?! Asaad? No. Mao Asada (Japanese Olympian Skater that retired yesterday)? No. Putin San? No. Mr Xi?! Absolutely not.

Ruthless Kim Jong un vs relentless Trump. It’s highly unlikely they’ll have a ‘hamburger lunch’ anytime soon, but instead a ‘Hamburger – Kimchi War’ could begin in a blink of an eye considering the fact USS Carl Vinson is already on a stand by in Sea of Japan.

Toshiba duped by an American phoney Westinghouse Electric

The viral video of FAA officials forcing an American citizen (not an illegal immigrant) Mr David Dao on UA Flight 3411 was merely repugnant.

Westinghouse Electric’s CEO Danny Roderick who filed for bankruptcy recently was another fraudulent phoney that de facto ‘eradicated’ its parent company Toshiba.

The management of Toshiba were not only dumb, but critically complacent as to be victimized by phoney Roderick’s cold blooded charade.

Since I have no bigotry, I am well aware of the fact that there are quite a few good hearted Americans on its soil. But at the same time those covered on western mainstream medias are usually phoneys and ‘pathological liars’ to my knowledge.

Trump pledged ‘America First’ and won the votes. After 100 days in office, we’ve learned that he’s doing exactly the opposite. Bombing Syria, and next Pyongyang. You call his recent moves ‘World Policeman USA’.

Of course I do not condone the North Korean authoritarian regime nor its biggest communist ally. That being said, Trump’s pressure on Xi Jinping in Florida a couple of days ago was a prudent one.

Hamburger-Kimchi War

But is he actually going to wage a bloody ‘Hamburger – Kimchi’ battle?!
If Heinz made ketchup is the ‘blood’ , then the color of Korean chilly is also the same. I was stunned when I visited Pan Munjon – or the 38th parallel about a decade ago that it was only 40 kilometers from Myongdong, the core shopping center in Seoul.

So if the battle does begin, the South Koreans including the incarcerated beauty Ms Pak Geun hye are likely to fall prey to the Kim Jong un invasion to say the least.

Japan on the other hand may also suffer, with Kim’s unpredictable Nodong missiles presumably crushing into Roppongi or Kyoto or Miyajima. Who knows?!

I am pretty wary and skeptical of the ‘100 % accuracy’ of the so called the US built THAAD system. It is super pricey(unsurprisingly $ billions) , and better be ultra hi tech, but still when Pyongyang fires 30 missiles towards Tokyo Tower it is unthinkable that they’ll be all shot down.

And if the accuracy is just 50%, then it will prove that THAAD is a total failure falling far short of what it’s worth.

It will surely be an embarrassing moment for the Pentagon as well.

Doraemon Go

Japan has no nukes, but instead invented ‘Doraemon’- a super hi tech cat like robot from the 22nd century after WW2.

This ‘cat’ is 1000 times well equipped compared to Mr Tom ‘impossible’ Cruise. If you don’t believe me, please just google it. You’ll know why.

Doraemon is a huge international sensation across Asia. Thais love him, as well as the Chinese and the Koreans. Controversial UA flight’s Mr Dao was depicted as ‘disruptive and belligerent ‘ – according to the CEO of the embattled aviation company. But that usage is blatantly incorrect, while Kim and Trump perfectly matches that depiction, cynically speaking.

Doraemon’ s amicable character, as well as his ‘Moshimo Box’ shall save our planet from entering WW3. He’ll go inside the phone booth(box) and yell ‘If there were no A Bombs in this world!’ – then the whole crisis shall be over.

What you say inside the Moshimo Box becomes a reality! And if by any chance that doesn’t work, NARUTO shall step in. He’s another Japanese Superhero that can make a huge difference in world affairs, to my knowledge. And my pure wish is, ladies and gents….. have ‘Tokyo’ play the crucial role of NARUTO- a funny but super powerful Samurai who loves Ramen( instant type too).

But in conclusion, that’s definitely a ‘mission impossible’ unfortunately, I must admit. Our cowardly, unthinking pacifist constitution set up back in 1946 is somehow still widely effective till this very day, depriving our citizens of the indispensable Samurai Bushido spirit to stand up when needed.

Our subservient attitude towards Washington is a huge surprise even to quite a few Americans friends I know of. If the British mock themselves as the ‘panting puppy’ of the Whitehouse, so are we. In that sense, Trump was perfectly correct when he pointed out during last year’s Presidential election that Japan shall find a way to defend itself against Pyongyang, instead of counting on the US – especially when the Japan-American 1960 defense treaty is hilariously ‘one sided’.

Correct.

You foreign readers of this blog shall be appalled to actually read that in our ‘1946 constitution’ made by Big Mac or Douglas McArthur, it stipulates that ‘the belligerency of the state shall never be maintained’.

I’m not joking fellas, it’s true.

UA flight’s David Dao’s belligerency : 5%

Donald Trump’s belligerency: 75%

Kim Jong un’s belligerency: 90%

Japan’s belligerency: 0%

OMG, isn’t it ridiculous. Maggie, Maggie Thatcher ma’am can you hear me?!

So.

What are we waiting for?! A missile strike by Mr Hamburger of Kimchi-Fatty or Doraemon?!

No, to be honest, NARUTO is whom I count on the most.

Come! I’ll cook a really yummy pork based doro-doro Ramen for you, with tons of garlic! Of course it’s a dream never come true. He’ll never appear.

Good Rising!

Yujiro Taniyama

Japan Broadcasting. net Editor in Chief

North Korea’s Kim Jong un should fight SUMO champ Kisenosato

Mt.Fuji is the most classic, aesthetic and symmetric mountain in the world as far as I know. And it is proven by the mere fact that it’s beauty is renowned not only domestically, but also internationally.

“Harumafuji” and “Terunofuji” are both distinguished Mongolian SUMO wrestlers, though their name includes the word ‘FUJI’.

And yesterday, the new Yokozuna or Grand Champion Kisenosato crushed Terunofuji twice to win the Spring SUMO tournament, according to the Associated Press. Its’ truly a little surprise that AP has posted this article on Japan’s indigenous  ‘sport’ – which I must say is in a way an incorrect term, since SUMO is NOT precisely a sport but a Shinto ritual that roots back 1500 years ago.

If you are a foreigner, you may wonder “Boy, aren’t these FATTYS obese! Eating too much rice bowls and ramens?”.

Well, I do not deny that. But remember, these boys are not just a fatty like Mr Michael Moore, but DO have huge muscles and they also train their body (especially the hip-joint between the legs) to make it extremely soft in order to prevent serious injuries.

 

Now.

 

People in North Korea are purportedly eating shoes.

ASICS? NIKE? Onizuka Tiger?! Adidas?!  Who knows. Malnutrition seems rampant, since their authoritarian regime is keen on flooding 90% of its annual budget into its nuclear missile program. Not enough food on the table, and its citizens are skin and bones.

But there’s just one exception. Yes, the “Fatty” Sumo-wrestler-like guy, Kim Jong un.

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