Gentlewomen and Gentlemen.
Domo Arigato for visiting Japan Broadcasting .net, the most unimportant intellectual platform in the world.
My name is Samurai Yujiro Taniyama, and I have nothing to declare but my sincere impropriety.
‘Giappone Scourge’ or ‘Samurai Phallos’ as occasionally labelled by self-important enemies, I may indeed be nothing but a wicked whip that graciously degrades your prudish morality.
The Land of the Rising Phallos Festival is brutally homogeneous.
And that element, exactly and unfortunately, is the liability for Giappone, or Japan since it pathologically kills diversity. One must bow the same, think the same and even blink the same in our clean but fabulously outmoded society of morbid sameness and senescence; where strikingly one in every three are aged over 65. ‘Constipation’ therefore, both carnally and emotionally is mangling the already ostracized walking phallos, you know who.
Be it the Suez Canal or Anal Canal, elastic lubricity of the mind is essential for a healthy, proper operation.
Hai. That’s exactly where you come in.
A proud Gaijin - a crucial callipygian agent for change from the outside world. Booty mandala of colorful eccentricity. We need you, and so do I.
Traveller, thinker, trovatore, entertainer, writer, fornicator or glorious loser - whatever I am, to torpedo the convention of tedious Giappone and the unscrupulous universe is probably my most romantico and fantastico dream.
Let our egotistic lusts and kindness intertwine for another poignant Arigato. The term in fact does mean ‘incredibly rare and precious’.
Your obedient servant,
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