Donald the Golfer & Shinzo the Caddie

His daughter is “As dumb as a brick” – according to his “sloppy” former aide Steve Bannon. (Book: “Fire and Fury”)

Fox News owner Rupert Murdoch purpotedly labelled him as “A charlatan and a fool”.

But still, he is the kingmaker of our world today.

And of course, his name is Donald……..not the duck but Trump.

While “Winnie the Pooh” Xi Jinping has successfully hypnotised his fellow Communist comrades to allow him to rule China indefinitely, the notorious censorship of the authoritarian regime has forbidden its citizens from even searching the word “Pooh” on the internet.

What a creepy nation.

I am honestly happy that I wasn’t born in Shanghai.

The crackdown on the Tibetans, Uighurs and the Mongolians by the Beijing despot is also nothing new. Cultural genocides, the massive surveillance operations using thousands of CCTV cameras and the assimilation policy (forcing Chinese education system on the ‘aliens’) is no doubt killing the ethnicity of all the tribes.

If you don’t believe me, just go ask His Holiness the Dalai Lama the 14th.

Who cares on whether Ivanka is dumb or not!?

To be blunt, she is strikingly beautiful. Especially compared to her brother – who looks nothing but a hairy gorilla from Ueno zoo. Probably he’s biologically half Russian.

Btw, I had attended the “Pyonyang Olympics” 2018, which ended last week. The Outspoken Samurai had prepared for the worst, yes a nuclear war during the games (though forgot to purchase a gas mask made in China in advance), but fortunately it did not happen. But as Donald’s little man Mike Pence had warned, the Pyeongchang was truly a “political olympics” – used as a propaganda tool by the super fatty Kim Jong un and his friends.

As the world continued to give (during the games) an incredulous look towards the late Kim Jong Il’s youngest son who assasinated his half brother over a year ago in KL, the Seoul government’s Mun Jae in was extremely passionate to develop a close rapport with the fatty.

The ultra-left Mun government is so pro-North Korean Donald the Trump and his republican comrades must all be agitated banging their heads against the walls of the Whitehouse every morning.

 

 

 

‘Nuked Pyongyang’

 

A “Nuclear Pyongyang” is truly a nightmare, especially when Mr Kim has already developed an ICBM that can reach Tokyo is just 7 minutes or so. The famous Tsukiji’s sashimis and sushis as well as Tokyo Disneyland’s Donald the Duck will all be annihilated a way before we know that we’re all dead.

That being said, my understanding is that Japan needs to beef up its military capacity and that fast. History has proven that a war could be easily triggered by trivial matters, be it the assasination of Franz Ferdinand of Austria and his sweetheart Sophie on 28th June, 1914.

I went to a golf hitting range this morning, and struck 90 balls.

If you want to challenge me fellas, send me an invitation via JB’s website. Some people say that I’m a hell of a golfer with monstrous power of Zeus – that can hit 300 yards with 3 wood. But you see, due to the fact my political stance tilts to the right rather than to the left, often does the ball too.

Tokyo’s PM Shinzo Abe is an avid golfer unlike myself, who’s probably a fake. And Abe occasinally enjoys playing 18 holes with Donald the Golfer.

“Make the alliance even greater!” – was the original golf cap Shinzo made for Donald about 5 months ago when the latter visited Tokyo on his Asia tour. The slogan certainly did not impress me, because I could easily acknowledge how Shinzo was trying to cajole Donald on Pyongyang. But it just didn’t look cool, and from that point on (the moment the U.S President wore the cap and fled off to the golf course in suburban Tokyo), the Prime Minister of Japan had turned into a mere caddie of Donald the golfer.

In reality, we need Pentagon’s military support to maintain our sovereignty. There’s no doubt about that. Japan-U.S defence treaty is unshakable, as far as I am concerned. However at the same time, I find it absolutly shameful how the country I was born must rely on a third party (Ally – is such a pretty sounding word!) to defend itself. And it is undeniable that’s the sole reason why Shinzo must play the role of a “Pierrot” caddie.

Don’t take me wrong.

I do cherish the 7 decades old “Tomodachi friendship” with Washington.

Seven years ago, when a magnitude 9.0 earthquake struck northeastern part of Japan on March 11, subsequently leading to that devastating Tsunami and Fukushima nuclear disaster – USS Ronald Regan and my fellow American servicemen stationed in Japan (approx.47,000) immidiately headed to the Tsunami hit areas in the face of radioactive risks.

Only a true ally ( not fake) could take such an action.

 

And while Japan today is surely in a predicament over North Korea’s nuclear threat as well as the emerging Chinese military aggression in the region, the “caddie” in reality has no choice other than to count on the “golfer”.

 

 

 

Conclusion

But in conclusion, I cannot but help argue that its about time the habitants of the Japan archipelago get up on its own feet, and start proving that they are actually the proud descendents of the Samurais who had never succumbed to external force be it Ginghis Khan or the Russians. To my understanding, the “True Samurais” led by the famous Admiral Togo de facto perished in 1905 as the Empire of Japan prevailed over the Russian Empire.

The rest is history.

More than a hundred years on since the victorious Battle of Tsushima, the Samurais are dead. The Japanese today are emasculated, overwhelmingly timid like a flock of Aussie lambs.

If Kevin Spacey actually, and forcefully grabbed the crotch of young boys, “Winnie the Pooh” is also preparing to do the same on “Tokyo boys” – only to find that there are none; I mean yeah, the balls. In the latest survey of 2015, only 11% of the Japanese today have the guts and patriotism to fight for their nation in case of war – by far the lowest among the G7 nations.

Deplorable.

Unfortunately, its we, the Japanese that are as “dumb as a brick”, not Ivanka.

Oh Donald the daddy, can I be the caddie of your daugher sir?!

 

 

Yujiro Taniyama – Japan Broadcasting.net Editor in Chief

 

 

 

Doraemon & Naruto will save the world from ‘Pyongyang vs Trump War’

Pundits across the globe are warning the citizens of Tokyo, Seoul and the G7 nations that the ‘dinner is ready’.

Exuberant Trump is ready for a pre-emptive strike on North Korea, they all say, which to me is no surprise.

But wait a minute.

Who’s going to be the ‘victor’ of this upcoming war?! Asaad? No. Mao Asada (Japanese Olympian Skater that retired yesterday)? No. Putin San? No. Mr Xi?! Absolutely not.

Ruthless Kim Jong un vs relentless Trump. It’s highly unlikely they’ll have a ‘hamburger lunch’ anytime soon, but instead a ‘Hamburger – Kimchi War’ could begin in a blink of an eye considering the fact USS Carl Vinson is already on a stand by in Sea of Japan.

Toshiba duped by an American phoney Westinghouse Electric

The viral video of FAA officials forcing an American citizen (not an illegal immigrant) Mr David Dao on UA Flight 3411 was merely repugnant.

Westinghouse Electric’s CEO Danny Roderick who filed for bankruptcy recently was another fraudulent phoney that de facto ‘eradicated’ its parent company Toshiba.

The management of Toshiba were not only dumb, but critically complacent as to be victimized by phoney Roderick’s cold blooded charade.

Since I have no bigotry, I am well aware of the fact that there are quite a few good hearted Americans on its soil. But at the same time those covered on western mainstream medias are usually phoneys and ‘pathological liars’ to my knowledge.

Trump pledged ‘America First’ and won the votes. After 100 days in office, we’ve learned that he’s doing exactly the opposite. Bombing Syria, and next Pyongyang. You call his recent moves ‘World Policeman USA’.

Of course I do not condone the North Korean authoritarian regime nor its biggest communist ally. That being said, Trump’s pressure on Xi Jinping in Florida a couple of days ago was a prudent one.

Hamburger-Kimchi War

But is he actually going to wage a bloody ‘Hamburger – Kimchi’ battle?!
If Heinz made ketchup is the ‘blood’ , then the color of Korean chilly is also the same. I was stunned when I visited Pan Munjon – or the 38th parallel about a decade ago that it was only 40 kilometers from Myongdong, the core shopping center in Seoul.

So if the battle does begin, the South Koreans including the incarcerated beauty Ms Pak Geun hye are likely to fall prey to the Kim Jong un invasion to say the least.

Japan on the other hand may also suffer, with Kim’s unpredictable Nodong missiles presumably crushing into Roppongi or Kyoto or Miyajima. Who knows?!

I am pretty wary and skeptical of the ‘100 % accuracy’ of the so called the US built THAAD system. It is super pricey(unsurprisingly $ billions) , and better be ultra hi tech, but still when Pyongyang fires 30 missiles towards Tokyo Tower it is unthinkable that they’ll be all shot down.

And if the accuracy is just 50%, then it will prove that THAAD is a total failure falling far short of what it’s worth.

It will surely be an embarrassing moment for the Pentagon as well.

Doraemon Go

Japan has no nukes, but instead invented ‘Doraemon’- a super hi tech cat like robot from the 22nd century after WW2.

This ‘cat’ is 1000 times well equipped compared to Mr Tom ‘impossible’ Cruise. If you don’t believe me, please just google it. You’ll know why.

Doraemon is a huge international sensation across Asia. Thais love him, as well as the Chinese and the Koreans. Controversial UA flight’s Mr Dao was depicted as ‘disruptive and belligerent ‘ – according to the CEO of the embattled aviation company. But that usage is blatantly incorrect, while Kim and Trump perfectly matches that depiction, cynically speaking.

Doraemon’ s amicable character, as well as his ‘Moshimo Box’ shall save our planet from entering WW3. He’ll go inside the phone booth(box) and yell ‘If there were no A Bombs in this world!’ – then the whole crisis shall be over.

What you say inside the Moshimo Box becomes a reality! And if by any chance that doesn’t work, NARUTO shall step in. He’s another Japanese Superhero that can make a huge difference in world affairs, to my knowledge. And my pure wish is, ladies and gents….. have ‘Tokyo’ play the crucial role of NARUTO- a funny but super powerful Samurai who loves Ramen( instant type too).

But in conclusion, that’s definitely a ‘mission impossible’ unfortunately, I must admit. Our cowardly, unthinking pacifist constitution set up back in 1946 is somehow still widely effective till this very day, depriving our citizens of the indispensable Samurai Bushido spirit to stand up when needed.

Our subservient attitude towards Washington is a huge surprise even to quite a few Americans friends I know of. If the British mock themselves as the ‘panting puppy’ of the Whitehouse, so are we. In that sense, Trump was perfectly correct when he pointed out during last year’s Presidential election that Japan shall find a way to defend itself against Pyongyang, instead of counting on the US – especially when the Japan-American 1960 defense treaty is hilariously ‘one sided’.

Correct.

You foreign readers of this blog shall be appalled to actually read that in our ‘1946 constitution’ made by Big Mac or Douglas McArthur, it stipulates that ‘the belligerency of the state shall never be maintained’.

I’m not joking fellas, it’s true.

UA flight’s David Dao’s belligerency : 5%

Donald Trump’s belligerency: 75%

Kim Jong un’s belligerency: 90%

Japan’s belligerency: 0%

OMG, isn’t it ridiculous. Maggie, Maggie Thatcher ma’am can you hear me?!

So.

What are we waiting for?! A missile strike by Mr Hamburger of Kimchi-Fatty or Doraemon?!

No, to be honest, NARUTO is whom I count on the most.

Come! I’ll cook a really yummy pork based doro-doro Ramen for you, with tons of garlic! Of course it’s a dream never come true. He’ll never appear.

Good Rising!

Yujiro Taniyama

Japan Broadcasting. net Editor in Chief

Fallacy of Donald Trump’s Protectionism (DTP)

Trump administration’s Steve Bannon claims U.S is struggling with its $20 trillion debt.

And we have the 45th Mr President totally indoctrinated by his advisor Mr B. ‘Our monstrous debt is a real killer! I’m gonna create more jobs fella. More jobs! Oh, our nation is bankrupt’ – they reiterate.

Um…. so?!

So what?!

Big deal. We’ve all got to bear on our mind that back in the 1970’s and till the late 80’s, US (not IS) would bully Japan saying “You guys export too many small HONDA and TOYOTA cars to the U.S goddamit, creating huge trade deficit and huge unemployment. Stop it!” .

What a self centered, arrogant claim it was. American public loved (and the still do fortunately!) cars made in Japan or by Japanese automakers and the sales skyrocketed, but somehow the US government claimed ‘the system is unfair’; whatever that means.

For the past 50 years or more, whenever Washington started losing economic-wars, they put a total blame on Tokyo pointing out ‘Free trade is what America is all about! But we have a huge deficit crisis here, you and I. And that’s because the way you do business is UNFAIR!”

Hilarious and despicable.

This ‘Yankee bully’ against Japan continued even after the collapse of the Soviet Union. The Clinton administration saw Tokyo as an economic-menace in the 1990’s imposing various kinds of legislations and pressures to clandestinely undermine its ‘ally’.

It was a huge success indeed.

Bill from Arkansas enjoyed flirting with Monica to say the least, and also had a huge fun targeting its ‘new adversary’ after the end of the Cold War.

Oh Ronald…dear Ronald Regan, only if you were the U.S leader also in the 90’s sir!

And now in 2017, we don’t have Ronald, but the world is in awe of ‘Donald’- who is cooking up excuses for America’s debt and ‘loss of jobs’ to ‘unfair trade’.

The only difference is folks, this time the foe is China. Not Japan.

Needless to argue Beijing is an abrasive, ruthless rising power that’s creating huge instability and turmoil in Asia with its military might. However, what’s more ridiculous is the same old rhetoric and tactic by the Whitehouse to bully its trade partners to achieve its political means.

Why don’t Apple make iPhones in California?!

You know the answer, of course. Go ask the widow of Mr Jobs.

Why are American jobs in jeopardy?!

“Because China, Korea and Japan is UNFAIR” – Mr Donald would argue during last year’s presidential campaign. Impose punitive 45% tariff on iPhones “Made in China” ?

Oh give me a break. Not a KitKat.

To my view, U.S will never become ‘great again’ as long as it intends to enforce its domestic shortcomings on the third party.

Japan used to be a threat for the U.S back then, and now it’s Xi Jinping. We all know that.

But we have all forgotten the history of how Mr Trump’s predecessors undermined Tokyo with its baseless claims using the notorious legislation ‘Super 301
instead of cooking Sushi together as an ‘ally’.

To be honest I do value the new U.S President’s candid character, as well as his approach to North Korea’s Mr Fatty Kim. But as an Outspoken Samurai of the 21st century, I just cannot turn a blind eye to the typical smear campaigns from Washington using ‘unfair deals’ rhetoric for the trade deficits and American trucks and cars not selling at all in Japan.

Protectionism?!

What a nonsense. Wasn’t America about ‘free trade’ and hotdogs?!

Remember folks, tax on American car is 0% in Japan! And it’s 25% on the opposite. Despite the fact, TOYOTAS are recording massive sales in Mr Trump’s home country.

Why is that?!

Ivanka san, why are they selling by far more than your great shirts and skirts?!

Good Rising!

Yujiro

JAPAN BROADCASTING Editorial「Outspoken Samurai」 by Yujiro Taniyama 

Irasshaimase!  いらっしゃいませ   (‘Welcome’ in Japanese)

And welcome to the ‘Land of the Rising FUN’.

Good Sushi, Good life. Good Sake, Good life. And Good Tokyo, Good Tomorrow.

Escape from the cul-de-sac of flooding ‘fake news’ and tumultuous daily routine, but instead grab a can of beer and your passport ‘n cheap LCC ticket ‘n come ‘n hop into the Hakone onsen just an hour or so train ride from Haneda airport or Shinjuku or Yokohama!

Ohayo Gozaimass!

Just as for a quick introduction, my name is Yujiro Taniyama. Though some ignorant phony may mistaken me for an illegal immigrant from Chongqing, China – let me warn you folks, I am a proud Japanese national with a bloody red 10 year Japanese passport! If Mr Donald J. Trump is the 45th US President, then I am the ‘Outspoken Samurai’.

 

Outspoken Samurai of the 21st century. Sushi Fighter.

And today I am honored to announce the launch of 「OUTSPOKEN SAMURAI 」、a challenging editorial that discloses my daily clandestine thoughts on world affairs, from entertainment, Anime to Melania Trump.

It will be in both English & Japanese, and written back and forth in these two languages.

 

SUPER GAIJINS

8,346,969 foreign tourists, or Gaijins (means foreign national in Japanese. To avoid misunderstanding, this term is NOT a pejorative – all my Gaijin friends in Tokyo loves calling themselves ‘Tokyo Gaijin’) visited Japan back 10 years ago, in 2007.

In 2010, the figure was still 8,611,175. Then in 2013, for the first time in Japan’s long winding history since Emperor Jinmu 660 B.C, the Gaijin tourists hit the 10 million benchmark! And what’s astonishing, the figure skyrocketed tremendously onwards. 13,413,467 (2014) , 19,737,409 (2015. Source: JNTO) , and last year finally surpassed 24 million! OMG

As the wave of protectionism and anti-immigration spreads across the globe thanks to Mr Donald and friends (including the mighty smart Brits), my narrow path to victory and diversity goes quite the opposite.

I embrace internationalism and globalization.

Having grown up in Adelaide and Bangkok myself, I refute any sort of racism having been bullied and downplayed due to my ‘flat face’ and the color of my skin in ‘white Australia back in the ’80s when my heros MJ, Madonna and George Michael had began to dominate the MTV!

Anyways, one of my secret mission of this 「OUTSPOKEN SAMURAI 」is to connect the dots, connect the people for a better understanding of the world we live in. Prudence and benevolence.

But at the same I am the obnoxious Outspoken Samurai fellas, ready to become a smelly villain by my adversaries if needed. We’ve got to speak out in what you believe in!

Conformity is definitely a huge problem within the Japanese society and mentality, and it hampers innovation. U.S.A is definitely not the ‘Greatest Nation in the World’ (lol) as was often quoted by Obama and still is by Trump – but I must admit one greatness of America is its potential for self innovation. When J.F.K was assassinated more than half a century a go, blacks were openly referred to as ‘Stinking Niggers’ and were prohibited from attending same schools and movie theaters as the whites. But 50 years on, you have a half-black-President.

That sort of drastic change would never take place in Tokyo, unfortunately. Innovation man, I say it again, innovation! And that’s exactly why we need the damn Gaijins!

SONY is dead, SHARP is dead ( it’s Taiwanese owned now to say the least), and now TOSHIBA is gone. Thank you Mr Westinghouse. The ‘smart’ Japanese elites were duped by our fellow Americans once again)

 

Who’s next?!

Good Rising!
Not good morning, ‘coz I’m standing on the  land of the Rising Sun!

 

Yujiro Taniyama
Editor in Chief – Japan Broadcasting

Editor in Chief. Japan Broadcasting.net 「JB」

 

谷山雄二朗が書く二刀流の社説「OUTSPOKEN SAMURAI」Japan Broadcasting

こんにちは。うるさい日本人、谷山雄二朗です。

本日、新しいコンテンツがキックオフしました。

その名もズバリ、「JB」。別名 「OUTSPOKEN SAMURAI 」。

何を隠そう、格好良く言うならば、JAPAN BROADCASTING . NET – JB の社説のようなものです。

Editorial, Column, Blog, Essay, 書き物。

Global Digital Entertainment.

ちなみに、この「JB」に関しては、次のacronym, すなわち頭字語を意味している。

J = Japan、Jump(跳ぶ)、Join(合体する、つなぐ)、Joke(ユーモア、滑稽、じょうだん、おどけ)、Jubilant(歓喜と熱狂あふれる)、Journey、Journalism、地侍、熟慮、自立国家、自尊独立、神社、JoyJump

B=Broadcast, Bushido, 冒険、Boundless(無限の)、Borderless(国境なき)、文章、Bold(大胆)、Blog、ばか者たれ、Bilingual、Buddhism(仏教)、爆発力、Bilateral(相互の)、Benevolence(寛容の精神), Battle (戦い)、Ballistic(弾道の)、Beautiful, Beer, Beginning(はじまり)、Biscuit, Brave(勇敢な)、Bravo(ブラボー)、Brightly(明るく!)

「英国にhumorあり、米国にjokeあり、そしてフランスにwitあり」とはよく言われるが、では日本人の国民性とは何ぞや。勤勉は確かに美徳なのかもしれないが、それも一昔前のこと。過労死が社会問題しているこの頃だが、自分の仕事は終わっているのに「先輩がまだ帰宅しないから」とかいう理由で、夜10時まで社内に残ることはもはや “勤勉” でも何でもなく、思考停止以外の何ものでもない。

どうも日本人は根本的に’まじめすぎる’。それでは、InnovationにつながるIDEASはどうしても生まれにくくなる。ただでさえ超マニュアル社会なのだから。

よってこれから始めるこの「JB」では、あえてその真面目の真逆を行き、あえて「不真面目さ & ゆるさ」をも重視しつつアップデートしていこうと思う。そう、最も軽いとされる元素ヘリウムよりも軽く、気張らずに。

“OUTSPOKEN SAMURAI” は、なんせ我が社の「社説」。

社是を重んじつつも、’うるさい日本人’の直感を読者に話しかけるようなスタイルでぶつけていきたい。

“谷山雄二朗が書く二刀流の社説「OUTSPOKEN SAMURAI」Japan Broadcasting” の続きを読む