The Irish in Dublin are so nice

Yujiro Samurai Taniyama, Travel correspondent 

 

Guinness beer was my breakfast.

And it was mouthwatering indeed, even for a ‘pussy drinker’ like myself. In a city where impeccable writer Oscar Wilde was born and grew up, I dived into a ‘real’ Irish pub at 8 in the morning to watch the crucial game between Ireland and Scotland.

The former won decisively by 27-3.

At this point, nobody in Republic of Ireland had ever dreamt that they would succumb to Japan, or the famous Brexit would happen to say the least.

But the former soon became a reality.

 

A weird and an erratic feeling it was, viewing a rugby match that was held on home soil in the land of ‘foe’. But the benevolent descendants of geniuses Wilde, Yates and Bernard Shaw surely made the ‘gaijin’ (outsider from foreign land)  with Asian look feel home and cozy.

As a ‘provocative prophet’, I bowed deeply like a stereotype Japanese and thanked the great Irishman in the photo after the Dubliners had prevailed that early morning. To my disbelief, the victors were drinking like fish even before the game ended.

 

Creamy Guinness, creamy life!

 

Zoo Me-methane (Sumimasen)

 

Y

 

 

‘Sorry Scotland, Sorry Ireland Tour’ begins! Japan will top Group A! | World Cup Rugby 2019

Samurai Yujiro Taniyama, War Correspondent – Japan Broadcasting.net

 

‘Otento-Summer-Ga-Mitter-Loo’ (お天道さまがみてる)

Well,  this is an old, popular Japanese proverb that irrefutably means ‘Gods are watching’ . And surely, he is. According to Shinto(神道), our indigenous way of life, there are some 8 million Gods in the Land of the Rising Sun. The legendary Anime director Miyazaki Hayao’s Academy Awards winning mind-blowing masterpiece, ‘Spirited Away’ depicts that concept beautifully in the film, so please take a look.

And surely, our Gods will be watching the ‘Rugby World Cup 2019 Japan’, which will kick off in just less than two weeks, on the September 20th. As a war correspondent, I am more than thrilled, because Rugby is definitely a war per se, but just that they don’t use the Russian AK47 machine-guns. But instead, the 200cm monstrous field players use the very best of their minds, muscles and tactics a human nature can offer.

 

‘Sorry Scotland, Sorry Ireland Tour’

Held just once every four years, this ‘global event’ (but only in the West, as well as the southern hemisphere. Asians aren’t bothered, but the Japanese) must be cherished and overjoyed to our maximum capability. So I’ve decided to fly to London, Edinburgh and Dublin and ‘declare Rugby wars’ on the founders and the frontrunners of the sport.

Nevertheless, England is Japan’s amicable friend. Since they are in Group C, while Tokyo is in Group A.

Therefore, my hypothetical enemy is the mighty Scots and the Irish – both in the same group as ours. They are indisputably stronger than the host team, and the 127 million Japanese have unanimously reached the conclusion that ‘we must lead our two biggest foes to the state of drunken stupor’ prior to the kick off.

So here comes I, the ‘chosen’ war correspondent, weak as hell with Sake, wine and beer, on a divine mission to invade the pubs and streets in the United Kingdom and Ireland. And I have decided to label this secret mission, “Sorry Scotland, Sorry Ireland Tour”. Dublin is a top ranked team, Edinburgh is 9th, and Tokyo comes after that in current world rankings. However, it goes without saying that they will outclass the host unless some kind of an inexplicable fluke, or a miracle happens.

‘Miracle of Brighton’, sort of. Nobody had expected that the venerable Samurais would prevail over one of the most outstanding teams on the planet, yes, the legend Nelson Mandela’s team Springboks 34-32.

But the Gods were watching. As it happened.

JPN 23 – Scotland 19.

JPN 50 – Ireland 18.

The above are my baseless, and wishful predictions when the three parties shall clash on September 28th and October 13th.

I must confess that my biggest liability is that the Scots and the Irish are allegedly super tough drinkers when it comes to alcohol. They can gulp vodka like a beer, faster than the bloody Russians maybe. On the contrary, the fake ‘war correspondent’ is tantamount to a British junior high school 8th grader whose been consuming beer since the age of 12.

And lastly, if by any chance you find a hallucinated oriental thug swimming facedown in the background alleys of Rugby or Galway near a local pub, I’m probably the one.

Please call the ambulance, please.

Oh, should you also visit Nippon to view the exhilarating matches, please do try the brilliant local beers. Not the piss-water to say the least, sir.

Good rugby, good life.

Arigato Gozaim-Ass.

 

$5 Sushi in Florida costs ¥100 in Nippon. Here’s why

Yujiro Samurai Taniyama, CEO, Japan Broadcasting . net Inc.

About a year ago, I was inexplicably contemplating on brevity of life, as the petals of Sakura trees in my neighborhood evaporated into thin air, day after day.

Without figuring out the answer to the “question”, and the enigma of the world we live in, that evening, I happened to dine at a ‘Corooo-Cooroo-Sushi’ (CCS)- or belt conveyor Sushi in the outskirts of Tokyo.

It was just before the groundbreaking ‘Trump-Kim Singapore summit’; I recall.

The CCS was pretty crowded, and while waiting in a queue, I inevitably spotted a blond male standing near by. He looked like a deportee from Venezuela. The nation is a pandemonium as we all know, thanks to chubby-bus-driver turned President.

“Gonna have to wait for another 30 minutes. Ready for some best Sushi’s in the world fella?! Welcome to the land of the rising fish”, I said to him, grinning.

The doughty looking guy, presumably in his late 20’s smiled back, relieved to hear some words he obviously understood. Hamacci, as I will call him here, turned out to be a U.S Navy serviceman. Just as a reminder for some readers, Hamacci (はまち)is the Japanese term for Young-Yellow-Tail. Mouthwatering good.

“Thank you for defending my little country”, I bowed.

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Ichiro, the Bushido. Magnitude 51

Yujiro Samurai Taniyama, Japan Broadcasting. net Editor in Chief

Utterly despondent I have been, for the past three days. Devastated and speechless.

Its not only me. The 126 million nationals of Japan, to say the least, as well as all the baseball fans across the world from Seattle, Los Angeles, New York, Florida, Cuba, Dominica, unhinged chubette Maduro’s Venezuela to Taiwan are highly likely sharing empathy, as well as sorrow, lamenting the departure of one of the greatest ball players the sport has ever produced.

The “shock” is presumably synonymous for ‘Magnide 51’ earthquake. It’s massive, and pretty palpable globally. Any suspicious reader (from Europe, Brazil or South East Asia that don’t seem to care less about baseball) should just Google search ICHIRO, and the results should give you some clues to what I am talking about.

The venerable man overcame immense diversities soon after he crossed the Pacific, from Kobe (known for the famous poshy beef) to Seattle, back in 2001. The majority of the Major League Baseball (MLB) fans in the U.S must have underestimated this Japanese newcomer with a funny name, that had just joined the Mariners. But as Nippon’s Shohei “ShoTime” Ohtani won the Rookie-of-the-year award last year, Ichiro immediately proved himself before the American public, that he will be the game-changer of MLB in the years to come.

2001 Rookie-of-the-year award was presented to Ichiro Suzuki.

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‘Master of Japan’ by Yujiro Samurai Taniyama 4th in Amazon Rankings! |March 14, 2019

By Team JB

Hi everyone!

Sakura season is approaching steadily, all across the Nippon archipelago! The famous Cherry Blossoms are expected to start blooming as early as March 21, in Tokyo area (according to the weather agency).

And today, we are happy and proud to announce that Master of Japan “The Cultural Learnings of the Land of the Rising Sin” (Japan Broadcasting) is ranked 4th on Amazon!

Humbly and sincerely, we thank all the great readers for purchasing this unparalleled, unprecedented book.

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Asian Cup 2019: Japan’s Fuchico to destroy Xavi’s wishful prediction

Yujiro Samurai Taniyama, Japan Broadcasting.net Editor in chief 

 

Spanish soccer legend Xavi Hernandez predicted that Qatar would defeat Japan in the finals of FIFA-AFC Asian Cup 2019, on a Qatari TV program back in December last year.

Xavi’s bets have not been capricious in any way so far, since he has actually got seven out of eight quarter-finalists correct: Iran, South Korea, Australia, UAE, China, Qatar and Japan. The Spaniard even guessed correctly, that the final match will be played between Doha and Tokyo.

That, I must say is simply splendid. He surely deserves a big credit.

However, the former Barcelona F.C midfielder unfortunately will prove crucially wrong in the upcoming match, scheduled on February 1. Since I predict that it will be the Samurai Blue that will get the last laugh.

Why? There are few reasons for this. First, Nippon has a lethal weapon; a mischievous mascot girl called Fuchico (コップのフチ子). Whenever she sits on the ‘Fuchi’, or the tip of a glass cup, the Samurais prevail.

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Japan thrashes Iran 3-0 at FIFA/AFC Asian Cup 2019. Ready and set for the record-extending 5th title

Team JB Staff writers

【Al Ain, UAE】

Japan ‘s Osako Yuya scored twice, in the 56th minute, then again just 11 minutes later on a penalty kick, while Haraguchi Genki added the final blow in the 91st minute to win the “de-facto final match” of the tournament against Iran, at the AFC Asian Cup 2019.

Now, Samurai Blue’s manager Moriyasu Hajime needs just one more win to make history, to become the first Japanese to lead its national squad to winning the prestigious Asian cup. The past four titles Nippon won (1992, 2000, 2004, 2011) were all led by foreign managers, including Zico the legend.

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5 reasons why Japan will win the AFC Asian Cup 2019 | Japan Broadcasting.net 【JB】

Yujiro Samurai Taniyama, Japan Broadcasting . net Editor in Chief

Sushi power has done it once again.

The fate of “FIFA-AFC Asian Cup 2019” now rests in the hands of Japan, Iran, Qatar and the hosts UAE. Defending champions Australia and Asian powerhouse South Korea were struck by an unfathomable tragedy last night, when they were ousted by lower-ranked foes.

Next, in the semi-finals, the Samurai Blue will fight Iran, while Qatar encounters the mighty United Arab Emirates. And for the benefit of the reader that is not a huge soccer fan, let me underscore that the Asian Cup is a crucial football event that is held every four years, to decide the No.1 in the biggest continent in the world – Asia.

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Princess Maco’s “boyfriend” Mr. Komuro Kei, his mom and her ‘Sugar Daddy’

JB’s Editor in Chief, Yujiro Samurai Taniyama

Emperor Akihito will abdicate on April 30, 2019.

His son Prince Hironomiya will then become Nippon’s 126th Tenno, a Japanese term for “symbolic figurehead of the state”, or the Emperor.

What?! The famous Prince Charles?! Well as far as I am concerned, his hyper-exuberant mom is unlikely to abdicate anytime soon, so there’s absolutely no denying the fact that he will remain as a “Happy Prince” till the flawed Brexit deal is signed, to say the least.

But in this blog, I would like to sit back and contemplate on Mr. Komuro Kei, an alleged fraudster like Mr.Carlos Ghosn the famous. Foreign reader may never heard of Mr.Komuro, or KOK (lets make this his acronym here), but this 27 year old is purportedly Nippon’s Princess Maco’s college sweetheart. I do not possess confidential datas that he is a Christian, although the pair met while both were attending International Christian University in Kichijoji city, west of Tokyo, near Academy Award winning director Miyazaki Hayao’s “Studio Giblhi“.

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3rd in Amazon rankings! “Master of Japan” | Written by Yujiro Samurai Taniyama

By Editor-in-chief, Yujiro Samurai Taniyama

Another tedious day was about to begin this morning in Tokyo , once again.

Until one mighty friend called me, and delivered an unfathomable shocking news.

He said, “Rising Sin is now 3rd man! This must be a fake news!”

“Stop that petty nonsense you idiot”, I replied, still inside the comfy futon.

Then he sent me a link.

I couldn’t believe my slanty little eyes (from the westerner’s view). But there it was, fake as it may be, my little bombshell had won the prestigious bronze medal (for now, to say the least), at Amazon Olympics 2018.

Japan category, that is.

Fake news. Yes, it must be.

I rubbed my eyes a coupe of times, pinched my crotch, and there were tangible pain.

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