By Yujiro Taniyama, Japan Broadcasting . net Corporation World Cup War Correspondent


Dubrovnik visit a decade ago was breathtaking. I hiked all the way up the glorious Mt. Srd, fairly exhausted, but the view of the Mediterranean was absolutely delectable.

People were amicable too.

However, ladies and gentlemen.

3-0, Giappone.

That is my untrimmed prediction tonight, of the inquisitive match between Tokyo and Dubrovnik. And here are three reasons why I’m sanguine about Team Sushi’s historic victory.

First of all, the hairy Iran authorities may downplay women, but I surely do not take Croatia lightly. They were the runners-up in previous World Cup, and boast plethora of A grade players including Real Madrid’s Luka Moric. Uncultivated defender Gvardiol is excellent too. Notwithstanding, with all due respect, the Prophet Samurai (who had ardently and beautifully predicted Giappone prevailing over Germany and Spain) emphatically argues that Team Dubrovnik falls crucially short of the vital attacking force necessary to crack open Team Sushi defense.

True, in the group stage, Modric’s men failed to score in two matches. That said, they may be ‘good’, but not ‘great’ – and is expected to even aim for a 0-0 draw in the first 90 minutes. Passive and defensive, Team Dubrovnik therefore is highly unlikely to penetrate heavily guarded Team Ninja’s Edo castle surrounded by moat.

On the contrary, the boys of the Land of the Rising Phallos (Festival) I believe will lacerate Dubrovnik’s goal before entering the extension time.


Sayonara Dubrovnik

The second reason why Nippon shall prevail, is the prodigious return of Arsenal’s topnotch defender Tommy-Yass (a.k.a Tomiyasu).

Correct, the world class 188cm warrior is back. The rock-solid 24 year old will vanquish Modric’s vertical killer passes; destroy rival Tottenham FW Perisic’s lingam attacks, and consequently incapacitate Team Dubrovnik’s aspiration for glory. Maya Yoshida, Tommy-Yass’s partner (former Premier League defensive international) is also expected to neutralize if not castrate the handsome Croatian boys.

Thirdly and lastly, Japan’s got more luck in this tournament. Needless to mention Sushi’s winning goal against the Spaniards, VAR and the capricious deities seem to be on Geisha side to say the least; already shocking the planet with two unparalleled ‘Giant Killings’.

Luckey. Yes, to have the Absolute on your side is decisive in a big sporting event like this one. In addition, it is my understanding that Ninja’s triumph over the mighty Croats will scrumptiously exhilarate global soccer fans more than the other way around; don’t you think?