By Samurai Yujiro Taniyama, Japan Broadcasting . net Corporation【JB】Editor in chief
Dear Vladimir, the glorious USSR President
Good morning sir. The firmament of Tokyo this morning is as clear as the shiny bald head of yours. Nevertheless, the 1,200g brain cells that lie beneath that vodka oriented hairless oily skin, unfortunately it seems to be has purportedly decided to launch a preemptive attack on the Ukrainian city of Donetsk and Luhansk.
My dearest USSR President, don’t. Don’t do it sir. You’ll lose your hair. Oh no. Not because such a hallucinating action could instigate some gruesome war, but simply because I’ve cooked your favorite dish; and it is your civic duty to eat it first. Correct, a mouth-drooling Sushi made from Hamachi caught off the famous Toyama coast. Seasoned with your Novichok instead of Wasabi, just one quick gulp shall emancipate not only your soul from that unremarkably chubbette body of yours, but also the entire soil of Europe.
Gobble down my special dish, and you’ll also reunite with Lolita; yes, the world-famous subteen idol (of whom you’ve invented long time ago) instantaneously.
Hip pip USSR!
Your obedient cook,