Doraemon & Naruto will save the world from ‘Pyongyang vs Trump War’

Pundits across the globe are warning the citizens of Tokyo, Seoul and the G7 nations that the ‘dinner is ready’.

Exuberant Trump is ready for a pre-emptive strike on North Korea, they all say, which to me is no surprise.

But wait a minute.

Who’s going to be the ‘victor’ of this upcoming war?! Asaad? No. Mao Asada (Japanese Olympian Skater that retired yesterday)? No. Putin San? No. Mr Xi?! Absolutely not.

Ruthless Kim Jong un vs relentless Trump. It’s highly unlikely they’ll have a ‘hamburger lunch’ anytime soon, but instead a ‘Hamburger – Kimchi War’ could begin in a blink of an eye considering the fact USS Carl Vinson is already on a stand by in Sea of Japan.

Toshiba duped by an American phoney Westinghouse Electric

The viral video of FAA officials forcing an American citizen (not an illegal immigrant) Mr David Dao on UA Flight 3411 was merely repugnant.

Westinghouse Electric’s CEO Danny Roderick who filed for bankruptcy recently was another fraudulent phoney that de facto ‘eradicated’ its parent company Toshiba.

The management of Toshiba were not only dumb, but critically complacent as to be victimized by phoney Roderick’s cold blooded charade.

Since I have no bigotry, I am well aware of the fact that there are quite a few good hearted Americans on its soil. But at the same time those covered on western mainstream medias are usually phoneys and ‘pathological liars’ to my knowledge.

Trump pledged ‘America First’ and won the votes. After 100 days in office, we’ve learned that he’s doing exactly the opposite. Bombing Syria, and next Pyongyang. You call his recent moves ‘World Policeman USA’.

Of course I do not condone the North Korean authoritarian regime nor its biggest communist ally. That being said, Trump’s pressure on Xi Jinping in Florida a couple of days ago was a prudent one.

Hamburger-Kimchi War

But is he actually going to wage a bloody ‘Hamburger – Kimchi’ battle?!
If Heinz made ketchup is the ‘blood’ , then the color of Korean chilly is also the same. I was stunned when I visited Pan Munjon – or the 38th parallel about a decade ago that it was only 40 kilometers from Myongdong, the core shopping center in Seoul.

So if the battle does begin, the South Koreans including the incarcerated beauty Ms Pak Geun hye are likely to fall prey to the Kim Jong un invasion to say the least.

Japan on the other hand may also suffer, with Kim’s unpredictable Nodong missiles presumably crushing into Roppongi or Kyoto or Miyajima. Who knows?!

I am pretty wary and skeptical of the ‘100 % accuracy’ of the so called the US built THAAD system. It is super pricey(unsurprisingly $ billions) , and better be ultra hi tech, but still when Pyongyang fires 30 missiles towards Tokyo Tower it is unthinkable that they’ll be all shot down.

And if the accuracy is just 50%, then it will prove that THAAD is a total failure falling far short of what it’s worth.

It will surely be an embarrassing moment for the Pentagon as well.

Doraemon Go

Japan has no nukes, but instead invented ‘Doraemon’- a super hi tech cat like robot from the 22nd century after WW2.

This ‘cat’ is 1000 times well equipped compared to Mr Tom ‘impossible’ Cruise. If you don’t believe me, please just google it. You’ll know why.

Doraemon is a huge international sensation across Asia. Thais love him, as well as the Chinese and the Koreans. Controversial UA flight’s Mr Dao was depicted as ‘disruptive and belligerent ‘ – according to the CEO of the embattled aviation company. But that usage is blatantly incorrect, while Kim and Trump perfectly matches that depiction, cynically speaking.

Doraemon’ s amicable character, as well as his ‘Moshimo Box’ shall save our planet from entering WW3. He’ll go inside the phone booth(box) and yell ‘If there were no A Bombs in this world!’ – then the whole crisis shall be over.

What you say inside the Moshimo Box becomes a reality! And if by any chance that doesn’t work, NARUTO shall step in. He’s another Japanese Superhero that can make a huge difference in world affairs, to my knowledge. And my pure wish is, ladies and gents….. have ‘Tokyo’ play the crucial role of NARUTO- a funny but super powerful Samurai who loves Ramen( instant type too).

But in conclusion, that’s definitely a ‘mission impossible’ unfortunately, I must admit. Our cowardly, unthinking pacifist constitution set up back in 1946 is somehow still widely effective till this very day, depriving our citizens of the indispensable Samurai Bushido spirit to stand up when needed.

Our subservient attitude towards Washington is a huge surprise even to quite a few Americans friends I know of. If the British mock themselves as the ‘panting puppy’ of the Whitehouse, so are we. In that sense, Trump was perfectly correct when he pointed out during last year’s Presidential election that Japan shall find a way to defend itself against Pyongyang, instead of counting on the US – especially when the Japan-American 1960 defense treaty is hilariously ‘one sided’.

Correct.

You foreign readers of this blog shall be appalled to actually read that in our ‘1946 constitution’ made by Big Mac or Douglas McArthur, it stipulates that ‘the belligerency of the state shall never be maintained’.

I’m not joking fellas, it’s true.

UA flight’s David Dao’s belligerency : 5%

Donald Trump’s belligerency: 75%

Kim Jong un’s belligerency: 90%

Japan’s belligerency: 0%

OMG, isn’t it ridiculous. Maggie, Maggie Thatcher ma’am can you hear me?!

So.

What are we waiting for?! A missile strike by Mr Hamburger of Kimchi-Fatty or Doraemon?!

No, to be honest, NARUTO is whom I count on the most.

Come! I’ll cook a really yummy pork based doro-doro Ramen for you, with tons of garlic! Of course it’s a dream never come true. He’ll never appear.

Good Rising!

Yujiro Taniyama

Japan Broadcasting. net Editor in Chief

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